Rafe Spall, 43, has spoken candidly about how welcoming a child with his co-star Esther Smith at the age of 42 gave him a new perspective on fatherhood, describing his blended family as a “beautiful addition” to his life. In an interview with Metro, the actor discussed the upcoming finale of Apple TV’s Trying, where he and Smith play adoptive parents Nikki and Jason, a role that mirrors their own real-life romance that began on set six years ago.
A Father’s Perspective Across the Decades
Spall, who shares three children with his ex-wife and one with Smith, reflected on the unique vantage point that having children across a 15-year span provides. “I was 27 when I had my first child, and 42 when I had my fourth, and it means that you’re very aware that nothing lasts forever when you’re raising kids,” he told Metro. “It gives you perspective,” he added, noting that sleepless nights and potty training are temporary phases that eventually pass, making room for gratitude.
“Sleepless nights never last forever. Potty training doesn’t last forever. Everything passes, and when it goes, you miss it,” Spall explained. “Not to say that it’s not difficult having interrupted sleep, but I know now that it will end.” The actor, who described himself as “needed” and “very, very grateful” for the responsibility, said that four people “really rely on me.”
Blended Family Life and the New Season
The new season of Trying explores blended family dynamics as Princess and Tyler’s biological mother returns, a theme that resonates with Spall’s own life. “Esther’s my family and we have a family and our family is big. I had three children before I met Esther, that I share with my ex-wife, and we have a big, beautiful, full life, and I’m nothing but grateful for it,” he said.
Spall emphasised that relationships evolve and deepen, much like Nikki and Jason’s on the show. “Even if you don’t have kids with someone, relationships evolve, and they change, and you grow, and the best relationships sustain all of those things in the same way that Nikki and Jason do,” he said. “Adversity brings you closer together; it’s where the good stuff is in life.”
Life With Five Children and a Two-Year-Old
Spall painted an idyllic picture of his summer in a rented country house “with five children” while Smith worked on a play. He described trying to find activities for children ranging from 15 to two, and making dinner with a two-year-old on his hip. “I know when I’m on my own, I’m not motivated to do stuff. I am very for the responsibility [of fatherhood]. For me personally, that gives me a lot of meaning and a lot of worth,” he said.
He also identified with a sentiment expressed by actor Bob Odenkirk, who, when asked whom he envied, said “people with young kids” because the daily chaos of picking up clothes and sorting out messes gives life meaning. Spall said, “I identify with that.”
Acting, Family, and Future Roles
Spall, whose father is actor Timothy Spall, said his children are naturally interested in acting but he puts no pressure on them. “Their dad and their granddad are actors, so they’re around it a lot. Of course they’re going to be interested in it, and of course they’re going to say: ‘Oh, this is what I want to do.’ But I don’t know if that will last,” he admitted, adding that he wants them to finish school first.
On watching Trying, Spall broke his usual rule of avoiding his own work because Smith is in it. “I don’t actually watch much that I’m in these days because it’s a horrible thing to watch yourself, but because my life partner is also in it, I have to watch it, and I love it. It’s funny, it’s warm, it’s real, and I’m just really proud of it,” he said.
Spall is also set to play the Prime Minister in Steven Moffat’s upcoming drama Number 10, a role he took so seriously that he consulted a former PM. “The only thing that got them through to the end was the idea that one day it would finish. It took them three years to feel like they could just put their head above the parapet and start making actual political decisions because the intensity of it is so extreme,” he said. He also plays Sherlock Holmes in The Death of Sherlock Holmes, set during the detective’s three-year absence after Reichenbach Falls.
“I want to keep being in the position where I can provide for my family, whether that is through wearing a spacesuit, or tights, or a cowboy hat,” Spall said. Trying season five is streaming now.
