Parisian waiters are professionals providing excellent service, not rude or unfriendly, but sometimes slightly misunderstood, according to British expat Helen Massy-Beresford. Despite the familiar trope of the snooty Parisian waiter looking down on wine choices, and Paris being voted the unfriendliest city in the world by travelers, Massy-Beresford struggles to recall an experience that lives up to the stereotype after living there for many years.
Cultural misunderstandings fuel the stereotype
Good manners in France involve formal greetings, which can seem frosty to outsiders. The golden rule often broken by visitors is saying 'bonjour' when entering a shop or restaurant. Not greeting staff is considered incredibly rude in French culture. Massy-Beresford notes that many waiters in tourist areas are snubbed thousands of times a day, which may explain their grumpiness. This cultural difference was acknowledged before the 2024 Paris Olympic and Paralympic Games, with campaigns to improve Parisians' understanding of tourists.
Waiters as career professionals
In France, being a waiter is a real career with qualifications and progression, not a stopgap job. The server who despairs at a well-done steak is not being a snob but trying to prevent a mistake. Patrons can still order what they wish, and politely standing one's ground often leads to a warmer exchange. Massy-Beresford also highlights the kindness of waiters toward children, such as bringing crayons or sweets, and one who offered to cut up her croque monsieur or hold her baby while she did it—service she never encountered in London.
