The sexual tension was electric – until I saw his girlfriend’s name. I was lying on his chest after a round of morning sex when I noticed it. Tom* had a lot of tattoos, but this one stood out. It was much more thought-out and delicate than the clunky stick-and-poke tats he had everywhere else. When I looked closer I could read the name Lisa-Marie* written in intricate cursive, sitting right above his heart.
The Tattoo That Revealed Everything
‘Cute tattoo,’ I said lightly. He laughed, muttered a quick ‘Thanks,’ then changed the subject. That was when my gut instinct kicked in. Suddenly, I had this overwhelming feeling that I might not be the only person he was sleeping with. I told him I needed the bathroom and grabbed my phone on the way out. A quick Instagram search confirmed Tom and Lisa-Marie were in a relationship. Her profile was full of photos of the two of them – on holidays, at dinners, even at a wedding in Italy just weeks earlier. Then I tapped her story. A few slides showed she was in Paris for work – but the final photo made my heart drop. It was a selfie of the two of them, clearly infatuated with one another, with the caption: ‘Happy 1 year my love. I can’t wait to get back to you tomorrow.’ I felt sick. I had just slept with this woman’s boyfriend on their first anniversary.
Reconnecting with Tom
Tom and I had recently reconnected after going on a few dates in 2024. Back then everything had felt quite inconsistent, but this time it felt easy. We FaceTimed regularly, and I could rely on a ‘good morning’ and ‘goodnight’ message from him. He was charming and thoughtful – but looking back, there were clear red flags I ignored. A film director, he was always (supposedly) travelling or working overtime. Plans would come up, then change at the last minute. He’d invite me on shoots around the UK, then suddenly not have enough time for me to go with him. But seeing him in person made it all worth it. Our ‘first’ date was at a small wine bar. We shared a bottle of red while he told me about living in Bordeaux. We didn’t go home together that night, but you could feel the sexual tension.
The Second Date and a Late-Night Visit
The second date was even better. We walked along the canals in east London during the day, popping into random shops and cafes. It felt relaxed and easy and, even though we both had different events to go to that evening, I didn’t want it to end. Which is how I ended up saying yes when he texted later that night, asking if he could come over, because he was going away for a month the next day. It was late by the time he knocked on my door. We were both a little drunk, and the lights were low. I didn’t notice the tattoo then – so seeing it clearly the next morning was sobering.
Confronting the Truth
Locked in the bathroom, I couldn’t see anything about Lisa-Marie on Tom’s Instagram; but my instinct was to dig a little deeper. I switched to my work account and searched his name again. This time, I could clearly see his Instagram story: The same photo Lisa-Marie had shared, with ‘143, I love you’ written across it. It only clicked then that he had blocked my personal account from seeing his stories. I walked back to my room and tried to stay calm – but inside, I wanted to throw up. ‘So who is Lisa-Marie?’ I asked, trying to sound casual, throwing his clothes at him as I got dressed. ‘No one special. It’s an old tattoo,’ Tom replied. ‘Please just tell me the truth.’ He denied it until I pulled up her profile. For a moment, he looked stunned. Then he backtracked. ‘I mean… we’re technically still together. But it’s not working out.’ Immediately, I burst into tears. I had previously told him that I’d been cheated on by my ex – he had seemed so understanding at the time, even telling me that he couldn’t understand how people could cheat. ‘I didn’t sign up to be the other woman,’ I said.
His Reaction and My Decision
I told him to tell her, or I would; and his demeanour changed instantly. He didn’t apologise. I don’t even think he felt guilty. But he did get very angry. He screamed at me, called me a ‘crazy bitch,’ and told me his relationship was none of my business. I realised then that he didn’t respect me, let alone women in general. So I threw his shoes outside and told him to leave. Surprisingly, he left without much more of a fight, slamming the door on his way out. I immediately blocked him on everything and haven’t seen or heard from him since. The next day, I messaged Lisa-Marie and told her everything: that Tom and I had slept together the night before and that we had been messaging for months beforehand. I apologised, assuring her that I had no idea he was in a relationship. She had thousands of followers, and I wasn’t even sure if she’d see my message – but she replied within 20 minutes. She called me and asked me to tell her everything. She was obviously heartbroken and holding back tears, but I felt reassured that there was no ill will towards me. This was on Tom, and Tom alone.
More Lies Uncovered
Lisa-Marie and I ended up staying in touch over the next couple of months. She quickly discovered that I wasn’t the only ‘other woman’. After speaking to his flatmates and messaging a few girls he followed on Instagram, she found at least three more women he had been seeing. I was gutted for the part I played in this – and it still makes me feel sick knowing that everything he said was a lie. But in a weird (and admittedly selfish) way, I felt better knowing that I wasn’t the only person he had deceived.
I wish I could say I trusted my gut from the start, but I didn’t. Tom was a very good liar. What I am proud of, though, is that I didn’t stay quiet. Lisa-Marie and I (and the other women he had been lying to) deserved better. He was the problem. Not us.
