The Unapologetic Art of Holding Grudges
Margaret Atwood, the celebrated Canadian author, has sparked widespread discussion with her refreshingly honest approach to grudges and vengeance in her new memoir. Book of Lives: A Memoir of Sorts reveals the author's unwillingness to conform to modern expectations of forgiveness and closure.
In a viral interview clip that has captivated social media users, Atwood delivered her signature sardonic wit when discussing her memoir. "A lot of people have died, so I can actually say these things without destroying somebody's life. Except for the people whose lives I wish to destroy," she stated with characteristic dryness. When questioned about whether she enjoys holding grudges, her response was equally memorable: "I don't have a choice. I'm a Scorpio."
The Literary Mafia Don
Recent reviews have described Atwood as "a literary mafia don" for her approach to addressing past grievances in her writing. The author maintains an awareness of those who have crossed her over the years, even if she chooses not to name them directly in some instances. This attitude recalls the sentiment expressed by another writer who once remarked: "If you wait by the bend in the river long enough, the bodies of your enemies will eventually float past."
What makes Book of Lives particularly engaging is Atwood's self-aware humour about her own grudges. From her legendary response to a negative review - "Piss up a rope, wanker" - to her account of hiring an exorcist to deal with the potential ghost of her husband's former wife, her approach to vengeance combines wit with undeniable satisfaction.
Challenging Therapy Culture's Forgiveness Narrative
Atwood's perspective arrives at a time when contemporary culture heavily promotes forgiveness, closure, and emotional processing through therapeutic practices. The pressure to "let it go" and move beyond resentments has become a dominant narrative in personal development circles.
This creates an interesting tension for many people who find themselves unable or unwilling to forgive those who have harmed them. As one individual expressed regarding their narcissistic mother: "I'm trying so hard, but I just can't forgive her." Atwood's approach raises the valid question of why forgiveness should be mandatory when the pain remains genuine.
The Liberation of Truth-Telling
For memoir writers, death often provides the ultimate liberation rather than forgiveness. As Atwood noted, the passing of certain individuals allows for more honest storytelling without concerns about legal action or causing direct harm. The author revealed that she previously disguised autobiographical elements in her novel Cat's Eye because "the chief perp was still alive."
That bully, whose real name was Sandra, has since passed away along with her immediate family, allowing Atwood to speak more openly about their history. In Cat's Eye, the character Cordelia represents this childhood tormentor, and the novel's impact has been profound. Women who experienced similar bullying often become emotional when meeting Atwood, recognising their own experiences in her writing.
The legacy of childhood cruelty, particularly among girls, creates lasting scars. Many readers find validation in Atwood's exploration of this theme, having received copies of Cat's Eye during their own difficult periods with bullies. The memories of hiding in toilet blocks during break times and specific visual details like blue walls remain etched in memory decades later.
Beyond Simple Score-Settling
While Atwood certainly plays up the revenge angle for entertainment value and marketing appeal, her approach demonstrates more depth than simple retaliation. She acknowledges that bearing grudges isn't particularly attractive and notes that she "struggles against it, but not very hard."
Her decision to wait until Sandra's passing before naming her reflects consideration rather than pettiness. There's a recognition that telling one's truth serves as a radical antidote to the shame experienced by bullying victims. The memoir writing process, when undertaken seriously, involves continuous self-examination about why particular stories need telling.
Book of Lives transcends simple score-settling by exploring how even highly successful lives contain moments of significant pain. Atwood demonstrates that these painful experiences can simultaneously be sources of humour and insight. Laughter becomes an essential part of processing life's difficulties, offering a different path from the conventional therapeutic journey toward forgiveness.
Margaret Atwood's approach challenges readers to reconsider the automatic assumption that forgiveness represents the only healthy response to wrongdoing. Her memoir suggests that acknowledging pain, finding humour in difficult memories, and speaking one's truth can be equally valid ways of navigating life's complexities.
