The Martini Manifesto: Why Every Gin Martini Must Have a Sidecar
In the world of classic cocktails, few drinks command as much respect and admiration as the martini. This iconic beverage, with its rich history spanning over 150 years, represents the pinnacle of adult sophistication. However, there is one crucial element that separates a truly elegant martini from what comedian Josh Sharp describes as an "absolutely degenerate drink": the sidecar.
The Case for the Sidecar
For the uninitiated, a sidecar refers to the practice of serving a martini with only a sip in the glass itself, while the remainder rests in a small, chilled carafe kept on ice. This method serves a vital purpose beyond mere presentation. It ensures that every mouthful of your martini remains at the perfect, ice-cold temperature from the first sip to the last.
Sharp, a New York-based comedian bringing his show "Josh Sharp: ta-da!" to London's Soho Theatre this February, argues passionately that sidecars should be mandatory for all martini service. Without this protective measure, he warns, the drink rapidly loses its dignity as it warms toward room temperature.
The Gin Imperative
While the traditional martini offers a choice between vodka and gin, Sharp leaves no room for debate on this matter. "You're an adult, you select gin," he declares unequivocally. This preference aligns with the cocktail's historical roots and represents what many connoisseurs consider the proper foundation for this classic drink.
The martini's simplicity is part of its appeal: quality gin, a whisper of vermouth, proper chilling, and either a twist of lemon or an olive with brine. Yet this very simplicity makes temperature control absolutely critical to the drinking experience.
From Sophistication to Degeneracy
Sharp presents a fascinating paradox about the martini's nature. "The truth of it is, the martini is actually such a degenerate drink," he observes. "It's straight up alcohol; the only thing that makes it feel classy is the glassware and the temperature."
This insight reveals how context transforms perception. The same liquid that might signal concern if consumed warm from a soda bottle becomes the height of sophistication when served ice-cold in elegant stemware. The sidecar, therefore, serves as more than just a practical accessory—it maintains the crucial illusion of refinement that defines the martini experience.
Preserving the Experience
Without proper temperature maintenance, Sharp suggests, the martini drinker risks an existential crisis. "A warm sip of gin and you start to lose the context of it all," he muses. "What am I doing? Do I have a problem? Am I real? Is it all ... worth it?"
The sidecar acts as protection against this philosophical unraveling. It preserves both the physical quality of the drink and the psychological experience of sophistication. Each chilled sip reinforces the drinker's identity as someone appreciating a timeless tradition rather than merely consuming alcohol.
A Plea to Establishments
Sharp concludes with an earnest appeal to drinking establishments everywhere: "give my martini a cold little friend." His manifesto represents more than personal preference—it's a call to honor the bartender's artistry and preserve the integrity of a classic cocktail that has endured for generations.
For those seeking the proper martini experience, remember these essentials:
- Always choose gin over vodka
- Insist on proper chilling
- Demand a sidecar to maintain temperature
- Appreciate the historical continuity the drink represents
As Sharp prepares to bring his comedic perspective to London audiences, his martini philosophy offers a refreshing take on cocktail culture that blends humor with genuine appreciation for tradition and quality.
