An east London drag performer and writer has launched a furious broadside against one of the capital's most persistent culinary trends, labelling the culture of 'small plates' as a fiddly, overpriced nightmare that needs to be banned.
The final straw: A saucer of pomegranate seeds
Jonny Woo, a co-owner of The Divine and a staple of the city's alternative scene, says his heart sinks when a waiter explains a restaurant's small-plates policy. He describes the experience of being advised to order between three and twenty dishes per person as infuriating, surpassing even his irritation with QR code menus.
"You're suddenly hanging out a tenner here, a tenner there, for tiny saucers of pomegranate seeds, things sprinkled in petals and a random blow-torched lettuce leaf," Woo exclaimed. "Just give me a bloody dinner!"
A refusal to share and a longing for proper meals
The performer, who is currently busy planning his punk pastiche Un-Royal Variety show, detests the enforced sharing that comes with the trend. He draws a firm line, stating he would gladly share many things in a Berlin dungeon but absolutely refuses to share a piece of pig's cheek in Haggerston.
Woo, 53, contrasts the trend with his 1970s Kent upbringing in a working-class household where food was served in full, proper portions. He argues that in 'small-plates hell', diners end up trying to reconstruct a normal meal and paying twice the price for the privilege.
The hill to die on (with one Spanish exception)
"Death to small plates – that's the hill I will die on," Woo declared. He makes a sole exception for authentic Spanish tapas, giving a cheerful pass to Andalucia. His message to trendy London eateries, particularly in areas like Dalston, is blunt: "Oh, grow up, and give me a pie."
Jonny Woo will be hosting his Un-Royal Variety show at Soho Theatre Walthamstow from 26-28 November 2026.
