Guinness Open Gate Brewery: A Multi-Million Pound Letdown in Covent Garden
The new Guinness Open Gate Brewery has finally opened its doors in Covent Garden, occupying some of London's most expensive real estate. This multi-million pound project, dedicated to "the black stuff," has been eagerly anticipated for years, with numerous delays due to the complexity of constructing a purpose-built, multi-floor brewery and dining complex in the West End.
An Underwhelming Arrival
After much anticipation, the brewery opened last December, but rather than being a single immersive site like Willy Wonka's Factory, it's spread across several streets. This fragmented layout includes a gift shop here, a restaurant there, and a street stall elsewhere, making the overall experience rather disjointed and underwhelming. Aside from a twinkly cobbled area near the gift shop, there's little that's photo-worthy for tourists seeking social media moments.
The Dining Experience: Safe but Uninspired
The brewery features two restaurants: The Porter's Table and Gilroy's Loft, with executive chef Pip Lacey serving what's described as "non-challenging yet hearty menus." There's also a courtyard pie stall by Calum Franklin. However, the Porter's Table lacks the dark, sleek, Irish-feeling atmosphere one might expect. Instead, it resembles a Google HQ staff room with scarcely a mention of Guinness—no branded colours, no menu pairings, and no concerted effort to sell the iconic pint.
Perhaps Guinness's marketing agency thought avoiding anything "cheesy" was the way to go, given the brand's current cool factor, but this approach leaves the restaurant feeling generic. Be warned: if you indulge in pints and need the loo, they're on the fifth floor, accessible only by lift—a logistical flaw that humorously suggests Guinness "cannot organise a piss-up in a brewery."
Food Highlights and Lowlights
The Guinness soda bread, served in a peculiar iron safe, was a standout: soft, crusty, and scone-like. "Lyrical lager beer frickles" were pleasant, and the Porter's beer melt with Paxton & Whitfield cheese on brioche was essentially a posh version of a McDonald's cheeseburger, though the patty was ungenerous.
Ribeye and half-chicken were decent but unmemorable, saved only by extra-cost Guinness-peppercorn sauces and fermented chilli. The Guinness-themed dessert, The Three Stouts, was dismissed as "little more than some sponge" with cream and chocolate caramel—a prime example of "will-this-do?" nonsense.
A Puzzling Venture
This experience raises many questions. Why does a restaurant serving chicken and chips need a huge, noisy open kitchen? How can the nearby Devonshire pub do more for Guinness's image than this corporate extravaganza? The gift shop offers nothing worth buying, and in just two hours, the visit managed to diminish brand love.
For tourists in London, Madame Tussauds might be a better bet. The Guinness Open Gate Brewery is located at 28 Shelton Street, London WC2, open all week with varying hours, and costs about £50 a head for three courses plus drinks and service.
