Overcoming an irrational fear of coconut products, journalist Nicholas Jordan embarked on a comical and enlightening taste test of bottled coconut waters available in Australian supermarkets. With a panel of seven friends, he sampled 18 unflavoured varieties, all claiming to be 100% coconut water, in a blind evaluation that included a fresh coconut as a benchmark.
Confronting Coconut Fears
Jordan admits to a longstanding aversion to coconut-heavy health products, often finding them reminiscent of soap. This trauma stemmed from previous taste tests, leading him to prefer coconut water straight from a fresh fruit via a straw. However, curiosity drove him to explore whether bottled versions could rival or even surpass the natural experience, especially given his preference for processed treats like Melona over fresh melon.
The Testing Process
The taste test was conducted with rigour and a touch of humour. All reviewers, except Jordan, participated blindly, scoring each product on aroma and flavour. The inclusion of a fresh coconut added an element of surprise, though its lengthy opening process nearly revealed the secret. The panel's findings challenged preconceptions, as none of the waters tasted soapy, and even the lowest-rated options were deemed drinkable, if somewhat bland or peculiar.
Fresh Coconut Reigns Supreme
Unsurprisingly, the fresh coconut emerged as the highest-scoring item, with nature proving itself as Earth's finest chef. This result highlighted that many bottled products either failed to mimic the authentic taste or offered inferior versions. Notably, coconut waters made from Filipino coconuts scored poorly due to their low sugar content and yoghurt-like aroma, while Thai varieties were praised for their sweetness, fragrance, and value.
Top Picks and Value Finds
Among the bottled options, UFC Refresh Coconut Water received a score of 7/10, described as delivering exactly what one expects from coconut water—balanced sweetness and easy drinking, albeit with a slight yellow tinge. For those seeking affordability, Cocolicious Coconut Water from Aldi scored 6.5/10, offering a honey-like aroma and impressive value, beating pricier competitors despite its generic profile.
Mixed Reactions Across the Board
Other brands elicited diverse responses. Coles 100% Pure Coconut Water, scoring 6/10, was likened to a predictable romcom—uncontroversial but boring, especially when compared to Aldi's offering. Kurious 100% Natural Coconut Water, with a 6.5/10 score, evoked memories of childhood coconut body scrub, boasting high natural sugar and dessert-like qualities that some reviewers adored.
Notable Mentions and Critiques
H2 Coco Young Green Coconut Water and Raw C Pure Natural Coconut Water both scored 6/10, with the former criticised for its muted taste and the latter appreciated by health enthusiasts for its low-sugar, grassy profile. Lower scores went to Cocobella Straight Up Coconut Water (4.5/10), which some mistook for an artificial product with luxury chocolate notes, and Woolworths 100% Pure Coconut Water (4.5/10), noted for its vegetal and yoghurt-like aftertaste.
Divisive and Disappointing Options
CocoCoast Natural Coconut Water scored 4/10, polarising the panel with extreme ratings. While Jordan found it sweet and basic, others labelled it comically fake, recommending it only for coconut candy lovers. Overall, the test debunked Jordan's fears, revealing that supermarket coconut waters can be enjoyable, with Thai-sourced products standing out for quality and taste.
