BJ and Toby met for a meal in Norwich as part of a series designed to bridge social divides. BJ, a 46-year-old writer and translator, and Toby, a 25-year-old postman studying for a master's in environmental assessment and management, discussed their differing views on the Middle East conflict, the monarchy, and monogamy.
First impressions
BJ was surprised by Toby's youth and height, and brought him a plant as a gift. Toby appreciated her effort to put him at ease. They enjoyed banana blossom tacos, broccoli, aubergines, padrón peppers, and oyster mushrooms at Blue Joanna restaurant.
The main disagreement
The biggest point of contention was the conflict in Gaza. Toby described it as a genocide, citing systematic destruction and killing of tens of thousands. BJ disagreed, arguing that the Israeli army tried to avoid civilian targets and that the term 'genocide' implies deliberate intent to destroy a group. She felt the word is often used out of ignorance.
Common ground on politics
Both lean left politically. Toby voted Labour in 2019 and Green in local elections. BJ voted Liberal Democrat and Democrat in the US. They agreed on many Green party policies, but BJ expressed concern about antisemitism within the Green movement, citing offensive comments from canvassers. Toby felt being pro-Palestine is not antisemitic.
Monarchy and monogamy
A humorous misunderstanding occurred when BJ misheard 'king' as 'kink', leading to a discussion on monogamy. Both felt monogamy is not fit for purpose in modern society. On the monarchy, Toby considered it the 'best worst option' unless David Attenborough were head of state.
Parting ways
BJ suggested adding each other on social media, but Toby declined, saying he didn't see them meeting again. Despite this, they left on good terms. Toby noted a slight dynamic of BJ being like a professor and him a student, but not in a negative way.
