America's late-night television hosts delivered a scathing verdict on a tumultuous week in Washington, focusing on a surprise presidential address and explosive revelations from inside the White House.
Kimmel's 'Worst Wing' Take on Trump's Primetime Speech
On Wednesday night, Jimmy Kimmel opened his show by acknowledging President Donald Trump's unexpected 9pm ET national address, which he dubbed a "surprise primetime episode of The Worst Wing tonight on every channel."
Kimmel noted the timing, with Trump announcing the impromptu speech just a day earlier, disrupting the season finales of popular shows like Survivor and The Floor. "It's weird to think that had a couple of states just gone the other way, he'd be hosting one of those shows," the host joked, adding, "Trump shouldn't be pre-empting The Floor. He should be mopping it."
He mocked a Truth Social post from Trump that promised, "It has been a great year for our country, and THE BEST IS YET TO COME!" Kimmel quipped in response, "I agree – the Epstein files are due on Friday." Summarising the speech's tone, Kimmel said it felt like "taking the stand in his own defense" and concluded bluntly, "It really is amazing that this fool is president."
Kimmel also ridiculed a new "presidential hall of fame" installed in the White House, which features politically charged plaques. These included claims that Barack Obama passed the "'Unaffordable' Care Act" and was "one of the most divisive political figures," while Joe Biden was "dominated by his Radical Left handlers." One plaque asserted that Ronald Reagan was a fan of Trump long before his presidential run.
Pointing out that Reagan died in 2004 and was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease a decade prior, Kimmel wondered, "What was he a fan of, exactly? Trump's Pizza Hut commercials?" In a blistering critique, Kimmel described Trump as a "sad individual" who knows "the world is laughing at him, and that his brain and face are like a Creamsicle melting on the sidewalk." He finished by asking, "Can we please put this man in a home before he completely destroys the one he's in now?"
Colbert and Meyers on White House Damage Control
Over on The Late Show, Stephen Colbert admitted his team had considered going live to cover what he called the "9pm old grandpa ramble-pants sundown jamboree." They decided against it because, as Colbert explained, "we would have to have watched it. And I don't want to do that no more."
He found irony in Trump announcing an emergency national address with the message that everything was going great. "It's like your mom calling and saying: 'Hey honey, I know you've got work, but is there any way you could fly down here tomorrow? Because your dad … is doing great!'" Colbert said.
He also joked about the speech cutting into CBS's three-hour Survivor finale, suggesting it could be the final challenge: "'Survivors, you've endured starvation, extreme heat and poisonous snakes. But for your final challenge, you must listen to a bitter old man talk about a ballroom.'"
Meanwhile, Seth Meyers on Late Night turned his attention to a White House in "damage control" mode after Chief of Staff Susie Wiles gave remarkably candid interviews to Vanity Fair.
Meyers highlighted that Wiles had described Trump as having an "alcoholic's personality," referred to Vice-President JD Vance as a "conspiracy theorist for a decade," and called billionaire Elon Musk an "avowed ketamine user."
"She said the president she currently works for behaves like an alcoholic, the vice-president is a conspiracy theorist and the most likely explanation for the ramblings of the richest man on earth is that he's on drugs," Meyers laughed, noting the strangeness of her still being employed.
Meyers Mocks 'Playboy' Defence of Epstein Friendship
Meyers saved particular scorn for Wiles's defence of Trump's past friendship with convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein. Wiles had explained they were "young, you know, sort of young, single, whatever – I know it's a passé word but sort of young, single playboys together."
"I didn't think it was possible to make Trump's relationship with Epstein sound any worse, but Susie Wiles did it," Meyers stated. "That's like saying 'Oh yeah, I was friends with Hannibal Lecter, but only because we're both foodies!'"
He also mocked a glossy Vanity Fair photoshoot of senior cabinet members, including Vance, taken in the West Wing. "They all thought they were going to look so cool, and while they were posing for these glossy photos, their colleague was bad-mouthing them," Meyers said. He compared it to a high-school yearbook scenario where you think you've been voted "'most likely to succeed'," but the caption actually says "'most likely to shit his pants at lunch'."
The collective takedown from three of America's leading late-night voices underscored a week of extraordinary political theatre, marked by a controversial presidential address and damaging internal leaks that provided ample comedic fodder.
