In a scathing segment, Stephen Colbert led a chorus of late-night hosts reacting to Donald Trump's dramatic about-face on the release of the Jeffrey Epstein files. The comedy figures dissected the former president's attempt to claim credit for a legislative move he had vehemently opposed for months.
Colbert's Take: A Signature U-Turn
Stephen Colbert celebrated the imminent public release of all documents related to the late financier and convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein. The development came after Congress voted near-unanimously to compel the US Department of Justice to make the files public within 30 days.
"After months of Trump fighting tooth and cankle to hold back the Republican party from doing the right thing, he just went ahead and gave up and signed the bill to release the Epstein files," the Late Show host declared.
Colbert pointed to the conspicuous nature of the bill's signing. Trump authorised the legislation after the White House issued a 'photo lid', effectively shutting down all on-camera opportunities for the day. "He signed it off camera, and he'll sign anything on camera – executive orders, sneakers, lady parts, wall parts, a toddler," Colbert joked, showcasing a montage of Trump's unusual autograph sessions.
"Trump is avoiding cameras. That's like the Pillsbury Doughboy avoiding nudity," he quipped. "More proof that these files are making Trump soil his ample briefs?"
The Truth Social Manifesto
The comedians zeroed in on Trump's subsequent online reaction. On Wednesday night, the former president took to his Truth Social platform with what Colbert described as a "full, Unabomber-length manifesto" that attempted to blame Democrats for the controversy.
"Imagine, if you got that as a text," Colbert mused as he scrolled through the lengthy post. "Somewhere in that Apple terms & conditions-length screed, Trump tried to claim credit for the thing he desperately fought to stop."
In his social media post, Trump asserted: "As everyone knows, I asked Speaker of the House Mike Johnson, and Senate Majority Leader John Thune, to pass this bill … Because of this request, the votes were almost unanimous in favor of passage."
"So you know, in a way, he won," Colbert deadpanned. "It reminds me of Julius Caesar's famous last words: 'Great job, Brute!'"
Meyers and Kimmel Weigh In
On Late Night, Seth Meyers also mocked Trump's attempt to rewrite history. "Don't try that move where you say 'and everyone knows …' in hopes that we're all going to say 'everyone? But I didn't know. Am I out of the loop?'" he laughed.
Meyers emphasised the transparency of Trump's reversal. "Everyone knows the opposite was true, because we saw it with our own eyes. You can try to get away with saying, 'as everyone knows, I have a huge penis.' But don't do it while you're changing at the gym, because people are going to check."
The host reminded viewers that Trump had previously claimed the Epstein files were fabricated, while this week he reportedly pressured Republicans to back away from the investigation, complaining that the attention on Epstein "deflects from the great job we've done".
"If there's nothing bad in the Epstein files for you, then why would it deflect from the great job you've done?" Meyers questioned. "That just sounds even more suspicious. That's like if your spouse asked to look at your phone, and you respond, 'I don't want my DMs on Instagram to distract from how great our marriage is.'"
Meanwhile, Jimmy Kimmel addressed Trump's Truth Social manifesto on his own show. "He signed the bill and then posted this giant run-on sentence taking credit for the fact that the bill got passed. It wouldn't have passed without him! Another legislative triumph," Kimmel remarked sarcastically.
The justice department now has 30 days to release the files, which Kimmel suggested "will make for a very merry Christmas indeed". He predicted escalating behaviour from Trump in response: "I think we're going to see Trump do some of the craziest shit yet. I think he's taking it up to a level 11 in the next 30 days. He's already started."
Kimmel referenced Trump's reaction to a video from six Democratic lawmakers – all with military or intelligence backgrounds – reminding troops they aren't legally required to follow illegal orders. Trump called the video "SEDITIOUS BEHAVIOR FROM TRAITORS!!!" that was "punishable by DEATH!"
"He all-capped his pants on this one," Kimmel laughed. "No big deal though, just the President of the United States musing about Congress-people being executed."
