Summer has never been the same since the great heartbreak of 1984, writes Adrian Chiles. At 17, he dreamed of impressing his first girlfriend with his knowledge of literature, but it all went laughably wrong.
The long, hot summer of 1984
Until age 17, Chiles loved long summer days spent playing football and cricket or exploring woods and fields. But a particular hot day scarred him, ruining all subsequent summers. In 1984, he had his first girlfriend and had just passed his driving test, though he was not adept at either romance or driving.
She was a year above him at school. After finishing her A-levels, she went cycling with a friend to the south coast of England. Chiles stayed home, waiting for calls from a payphone and driving around in an old white Mini Metro listening to sad songs on cassette.
A literary-inspired road trip
Eventually, they arranged for him to drive down to meet her. He set off at dawn on a long, hot summer day for his first long solo drive. He had read Thomas Hardy's The Mayor of Casterbridge and Tess of the D'Urbervilles, and heading into Hardy country felt romantic. Despite driving a Mini Metro near Blandford Forum, he felt like a Hardy character.
To impress his girlfriend, he decided to take her to the Hardy Monument atop Black Down. There, surrounded by views of Wessex in a heat haze, he felt like Michael Henchard in his glory days.
The wrong Thomas Hardy
Then he realised the monument was for Vice-Admiral Sir Thomas Hardy, the naval officer who received Nelson's dying kiss. Not the novelist. Chiles called it a 'cock-up' and a portent of doom. His girlfriend said she wasn't bothered, but he could tell the magic was broken.
They camped that night near Lytchett Minster. By dawn, she had ended the relationship. Chiles drove her and her bike back to the West Midlands. When he told his parents, his father asked where it happened. Chiles replied, 'Somewhere near Dorset.' His father pressed: 'Well, was it in Dorset, or wasn't it?' Chiles notes you don't get dialogue like that in Hardy.
Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster, writer and Guardian columnist.
