Readers have responded to Zoe Williams' recent column about her son preparing to leave for university, with one father describing parenting as a form of continuous grieving that begins at birth.
Parenting as Continuous Grieving
Doug Kessler from London wrote to share his experience as a father who has seen both daughters leave home. He expressed sympathy with Williams' feelings of denial and pain as her first son prepares to depart for university.
Kessler argued that no one talks about the fact that, from the moment of birth, parenting is continuous grieving. He explained that parents mourn the loss of their one-year-old when they turn two, and that the fun of the early teen years only partially compensates for never again watching a toddler invent walking.
The Impact of Children Leaving Home
Kessler noted that the move away from home is a big one. When it happened to his own family, he was grateful for all the practice he had been gifted, but it still hit hard, bafflingly so.
Mark de Brunner from Burn Bridge, North Yorkshire also offered sympathy to Williams, but added a light-hearted observation: sending her son off with a nest of saucepans, he said, is common, as they all take saucepans, and there are always too many.
The letters were published in response to Williams' column on 17 August, in which she described her severe denial about her son's upcoming departure.
