Wendy Gregory, a counselling psychologist and writer, describes the intense experience of serving as her daughter Mia's birth partner. During labour, a midwife expressed concern about sepsis and took a blood sample, causing Mia's blood pressure to soar and her mother's heart to pound. The test came back negative, but the ordeal was far from over.
A Bombshell Over Coffee
In 2024, Mia announced her pregnancy, and later asked her mother to be her birth partner. Mia explained that her partner might struggle if things got tough, saying, 'I know you can stand up to any doctor. You'll always have my back.' Wendy agreed, feeling trusted but also a deep sorrow, as her own mother had died when Wendy was six months pregnant with Mia.
Preparing for the Big Day
Throughout the pregnancy, Wendy reassured Mia, who suffered from health anxiety. Mia wanted minimal intervention and no epidural. Wendy advised her to keep an open mind. The baby was due on Christmas Eve 2025, but labour began on Boxing Day morning.
The Labour Begins
Mia called her mother on Boxing Day morning with regular contractions. Wendy waited at home, pacing and cleaning, until a text at 4pm summoned her. In the labour suite, she found an anxious Mia and her pale partner, who was relieved to see Wendy. The partner took instruction, wiping Mia's face and fetching water.
Watching in Agony
Wendy watched her daughter scream in pain, feeling helpless despite holding her hand and murmuring soothing words. When the midwife suggested an epidural after several hours, Mia meekly nodded—though she had angrily refused when Wendy suggested it earlier. Wendy let it pass, knowing she was the only person Mia could vent at.
The Final Push
After an hour and a half of pushing, Mia was exhausted. The obstetrician performed a ventouse procedure, placing a suction cup over the baby's head. Wendy stood by her daughter's head, eyes shut, until the obstetrician announced, 'And here she is, your baby girl!' Mia burst into tears, and Wendy wept as she saw her first grandchild at 5:30am. The obstetrician was also wiping away a tear.
Elated and Exhausted
In the following days, Wendy felt completely elated. She reflected that the experience reinforced her knowledge that she would do anything to help her family. 'Acting as my daughter's birth partner was, simultaneously, the most exhilarating and frightening experience of my entire life. But I would do it again in a heartbeat,' she said.
