Olivia Wilde has ignited a conversation about sexual communication, arguing that people often discuss intimate details with friends rather than their partners. The director made the remarks following the release of her latest film, The Invite, which explores polyamory among married couples.
Wilde’s Call for Direct Dialogue
“People talk about sex with everyone except their partner,” Wilde told Tyla. “This movie is saying, have the conversation. Talk about it. You might be holding yourself back in a way you don’t even realise.”
Her comments come amid findings from a 2024 study by the Royal College of Occupational Therapists, which shows that the average Brit has sex 46 times per year—just under once a week—but only discusses sex with their partner 37 to 41 times annually. Men feel most comfortable talking about intimacy with their partner (42%), while women are more likely to feel at ease with friends (40%) than with their partner (35%).
Expert Perspectives on Friend Chats
Clinical sexologist Ness Cooper explains that sharing with friends can be a form of “social learning” and help destigmatise sex. However, she warns it may signal hidden intentions. “We could be using our friends to test things out, or share something that we’re lacking sexually and want to rant about it rather than work it through with our partners,” she told Metro.
Debbie Keenan, a BACP accredited psychotherapist, emphasises the importance of intention. “Talking to friends should complement the relationship, not replace honest, open communication with your partner,” she said. “What matters is couples communicate openly about their boundaries, respect each other’s preferences, and make sure conversations support the relationship rather than undermine trust.”
Tips for Better Bedroom Talk
Sex expert Asa Baav advises focusing on positive language: “Instead of ‘I hate when you do X,’ say ‘I would really love it if you did X, Y, Z.’ Start slow and ease into it. Focus on what is going well, what is working and what we like.”
Ultimately, Wilde’s message is clear: direct conversation with your partner is key to a fulfilling sex life, and relying solely on friends may hold you back.
