‘ORANGES!’ I slapped a penis away from my face and sighed while sitting up in bed. This wasn’t what I thought it would be like. I looked at the man, George*, standing on the bed, holding his member and wincing slightly, and then to the two other men, Stefan* and Adam*, towering over me and panting. All of them had confused looks on their faces, whereas I had had enough.
‘Are you okay?’ my boyfriend Adam, one of the towering men, came to comfort me at that point, but I was done. ‘Nope, I want out of this gang bang’, I sighed standing up and walking to the bathroom. ‘Why?’ George asked, still wincing. ‘I just don’t think any of you know how to have sex with a woman,’ I callously replied before disappearing from their sight and shutting the door. It was harsh but true.
I had agreed to sleeping with all three of them at once because I thought it would be fun and exciting – but I didn’t consider one thing. Not one of them was good in bed. It wasn’t what I had planned when I was in bed with Adam a few weeks before, watching a gang bang porn clip and masturbating alongside him. He was almost instantly hard, and I was so turned on, that before climax we both turned to each other at the same time and announced we wanted to try it.
We had a pretty open relationship at the time – I didn’t want to be with just him, but wanted him as my primary partner, and I was pretty sure he already had a long list of people he wanted to sleep with when I approached him with the idea of being open. His enthusiasm was immediate. And so it was – we would date other people, but be together, and see how it would go.
The first few months went by super quick, and unfortunately, during a particularly fantastic orgasm from a man I had met in a bar, I realised I just wasn’t that satisfied with Adam in bed. So when we both decided on imitating the gang bang we had just seen, I was all in. I wanted sex with Adam to be the most I desired – he was my primary partner after all.
The next day, while sitting at the kitchen table and making a list of the people we would invite to the gang bang, Adam dropped his paper and said: ‘Wait, why not my two best friends?’ I hadn’t considered bringing people close to us into the fold, it felt like a disaster waiting to happen. But George and Stefan were really lovely people, with really great bodies. After some discussion about whether they would think we’re strange, or it would ruin our friendships, it was decided – we would at least ask.
It took a mere three minutes for both to text back ‘YES!!’ in all capitals with exclamation marks. I smiled, feeling desired. I wondered if they had ever thought of having sex with me, and started to get excited. It was the next evening that we had organised the event – at our place, with wine and light bites. George was the first one round, eager, with a smile permanently plastered on his face. Stefan followed soon after, his smile somehow bigger.
Getting down to business felt awkward – it felt like I was taming lions, as we had a glass of wine and talked through rules (no biting, no violence, this is the safe word, ask first etc), but they were all ready to pounce. We didn’t quite make it to the bed when it started. It all felt so exciting, the tension in the air was electric, and I knew each of them was hard.
So, when we started having sex, and their rhythms were off, as they selfishly tried to take care of their individual selves instead of work as a group, I felt like a child’s toy, being played with incorrectly. Adam instantly penetrated me, and didn’t leave enough room for Stefan. George slapped his penis on my face for a while, which was just annoying. And when Adam finally turned me over, letting Stefan penetrate me anally, they both just sat there, attempting to move, but in each other’s way. George squatted by my face, trying to angle his dick into my mouth but kept hurting my neck.
I yelled ‘oranges’ (the safe word), after around 30 minutes of this and slapped George’s penis out of my mouth. It was a complete mess and I just couldn’t deal with it. These three men were too eager, and just did not know how to have a successful gang bang. I realised I wasn’t that satisfied with Adam because he wasn’t that good in bed, and it turns out, neither were his best friends.
As they all stood there holding their dicks and looking for something to do with them, I went to the bathroom and finished myself off, before jumping in the shower. They must have heard the shower running because when I came back out Stefan and George had gone. I sat with Adam and told him the truth: it was some of the worst sex I had ever had and it was not getting any better.
He sighed and understood, but I think he felt awful about it for a while, because when we broke up two months later, he brought up how it made him feel. It was harsh, I agreed, but it was the truth. We parted ways and I vowed never to sleep with three men at once again. Well, not until a few years later, when I knew they were really good in bed. And this time, they absolutely were.
