Psychotherapist Anna Mathur, who works with stressed parents, found that banning social media during family hours dramatically improved her mood and relationships. She used to pick up her phone hundreds of times daily, but now uses an app called App Block to restrict access when her children are home.
The Problem with Phones
Mathur realized her phone was making her a snappier, less present mother. She initially felt that scrolling helped her decompress, but it actually added cognitive demands. Research shows that for people with ADHD, chronic stress, or poor sleep, phone use is biologically driven due to weakened impulse control in the frontal lobe. Perimenopause exacerbated this for Mathur, as declining oestrogen increases reward-seeking behavior.
Implementing the Change
After repeatedly breaking self-imposed rules, Mathur downloaded App Block. She cannot access social media or email while her children (aged seven, nine, and 11) are home, and only has 15 minutes to check once they are in bed. For work tasks, she uses a laptop, which feels more intentional.
Unexpected Benefits
The change reduced her irritability and overstimulation. She narrates phone use aloud, saying things like “I’m just adding bananas to the shopping” to stay accountable and show her children she is not disappearing. In the evenings, she reads books instead of scrolling, which lowers stress and allows boredom—where rest and ideas surface.
Mathur’s relationship with her husband improved as they now talk and give each other undivided attention instead of sitting side by side on their phones. “My kids see me relaxed and resting,” she said. “They tell me about the small details and worries of their days, they snuggle up to me. These moments are so special and now I’m fully present for them.”
Broader Implications
Mathur is a psychotherapist and author of How to Stop Snapping at the People You Love. She emphasizes that reducing phone time has deepened her most important relationships, a benefit she did not anticipate.
