Older Women Share Candid Truths About Dating in Later Years
From accusations of being AI-generated to encounters with men who inflate their age and anatomy, five women across the Atlantic reveal the complex realities of seeking companionship in their 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s. Their stories highlight both the persistent challenges and unexpected joys of dating when society often assumes romantic life has ended.
Stella Ralfini: The 78-Year-Old Beauty Writer Seeking Passion
Stella Ralfini, a 78-year-old London beauty writer, has been single for a decade since her partner's death. Despite going on ten dates in the past year, she remains determined to find love. "I want to die in love," she declares. "I want to die remembering how that felt, because that's when I felt most alive."
Her online dating experiences have been particularly challenging. "I came off Match.com because I was accused by two or three men of being AI-generated or using fake pictures," she reveals. While younger men showed interest, Ralfini prefers someone in their 70s or late 60s who shares her life stage.
Now attending face-to-face dating events, she faces another hurdle: many men her age want women with grandchildren, while she has just one daughter. "I wear makeup and dress stylishly because I've realised I'm a person who loves to be admired," she explains. "It's got to do with me recognising that these are my last years, and wanting to live authentically."
Pauline Tomlin: Navigating Dating as a 61-Year-Old Actor
Pauline Tomlin, a 61-year-old actor from Leeds, describes the dating landscape as "very barren." She observes that many men her age struggle with fitness and often seek younger women. Her brief foray into online dating revealed men using decades-old Polaroids as profile pictures.
"They didn't take the time to read my profile and didn't seem to want to engage in meaningful conversation," she recalls. As an Afro-Caribbean woman, Tomlin also faced being treated as a curiosity on mainstream dating sites, while black dating sites often lacked conversational depth.
After an abusive online encounter, she stopped digital dating. "I'll be sad if my love life has to completely die in my 60s," she admits, having gone years without even a hug. "But unless someone of quality comes along, I'm not going to compromise."
Bonnie March and Cheryl Ford: A Late-Life Love Story
Bonnie March, an 84-year-old Florida pensioner, experienced profound loneliness during COVID lockdowns at age 79. Her initial online dating experiences were disappointing, with matches who seemed "old in attitude" and overly attached to pets—including one woman with a parrot she wanted March to hold.
After joining the Conscious Girlfriend Academy, a queer relationship coaching site, March gained confidence and expanded her age range. She met Cheryl Ford, then 68, and experienced an immediate connection. "We went to a blues festival together and stayed up until one or two o'clock just talking," March remembers.
Ford, now 71, knew within months she wanted to marry March. "It felt like the first time I fell in love," she says. Their Paris wedding featured 100 guests and Elvis Presley's Can't Help Falling in Love. "When we walked into the reception, everyone stood up and applauded for five minutes," Ford recalls. "We felt this overwhelming amount of support."
D'yan Forest: The 91-Year-Old Comedian Still Seeking Connection
D'yan Forest, a 91-year-old New York comedian, has dated 40-50 people over three decades. She identifies as bisexual and values intelligence, humor, and travel compatibility over gender. "I don't like being in my apartment at night, alone," she confesses.
Her dating experiences have grown increasingly challenging. She recalls one man who claimed to be 87 but admitted to being 92 during their hamburger date. "He talked about how he was rich and famous," Forest remembers. "Then he said, 'I can hold it for two hours because I have balloons'—he was talking about inflating his penis."
While younger men approach her after comedy shows, Forest realizes they typically want only casual encounters. "Other women my age tell me they don't have sex anymore," she notes. "I guess I'm different. For me, sex is part of life." Despite the challenges, she maintains hope of finding a compatible companion.
The Common Thread: Persistence and Self-Worth
These women's stories reveal several consistent themes in later-life dating:
- Ageism and authenticity concerns: From AI accusations to outdated profile pictures
- Different priorities: While some seek marriage, others want companionship without commitment
- Community importance: Finding supportive networks, whether through coaching or social circles
- Self-awareness: Knowing what they want and refusing to compromise on core values
As Forest summarizes: "It's a lonely world. But you've got to have hope." These women demonstrate that romantic seeking doesn't end at any particular age—it simply evolves, presenting new challenges but also unexpected opportunities for connection and joy.
