Lydia Lunch, the iconic frontwoman of Teenage Jesus and the Jerks, has never been one to mince words. In a recent interview, she shared her disdain for sandwiches, pop culture, and even funerals, revealing her wish to simply evaporate and return to 'the ether' when her time comes.
On Stage Chaos and Preparedness
When asked about the most chaotic thing that has happened on stage, Lunch replied, 'I'm still waiting for that. Maybe it's the most chaotic thing I've ever put forth from the stage.' She recounted an incident where a drunken man made a crude remark, prompting her to invite him on stage and crack him in the neck with a blackjack. 'He fell to his knees and I told him to suck it himself. I'm always prepared!'
The Impact of Suicide and Alan Vega
Lunch, who is currently in Australia performing the songs of Suicide, reflected on the profound impact Alan Vega had on her. 'They were one of the first concerts I saw when I arrived in New York at the age of 16,' she said. 'It was the mania and musical schizophrenia from one song to another, from Cheree to Dream Baby Dream to Frankie Teardrop. I liked that confusion of emotion. Also, that thousand-yard stare that Alan Vega had, screaming into the void as he did. They sounded like no one else.'
Connecting with Tex Perkins
Lunch is also performing a series of shows with Tex Perkins of Beasts of Bourbon and The Cruel Sea. 'I don't really remember when I met him, but I was always a fan of the Beasts of Bourbon,' she said. 'When we did the Shotgun Wedding tour in 1994 with Rowland S Howard, we covered Hard for You, which Tex and I might do on this tour. I just find him adorably funny, sexy, raunchy, everything rock'n'roll should be.'
Remembering Rowland S Howard
On missing her late collaborator Rowland S Howard, Lunch offered a philosophical perspective. 'Missing people who have left so much in their wake is just a western form of selfish greed. As opposed to missing, how about celebrating what there was? I'm just glad I got to celebrate his life with him. Most people don't get that much of an opportunity. We only are greedy for more for ourselves. The dead don't give a shit.'
Posthumous Honors and Sandwiches
When asked about the trend of naming places after musicians posthumously, Lunch quipped, 'Well, they might not even receive it postmortem – think of someone like Hubert Selby Jr or Henry Miller or any number of dead geniuses. But it's better than having a fucking hamburger named after you.'
As for a sandwich named after her, she was adamant: 'Well, first of all I don't like sandwiches at all, so I would never allow a sandwich to be named after me. I think that bread is a trick on poor people, unless it's highly nutritious or Danish. So perhaps it would be a sandwich with no bread, but a divine interior. Something meaty, juicy, big and bouncy, just like me.'
Pop Culture and Controversy
Lunch rejected the notion that her career is built on shock and provocation. 'I don't find anything I've done shocking, but I've got no opinion about pop culture. It's an existential vacuum that sucks everything into it that has not a brain cell left for itself.' When asked about Nick Cave's transformation into an agony uncle via The Red Hand Files, she simply said, 'NO COMMENT!'
Advice Columns and Funerals
Lunch revealed she once wrote a sex advice column called Tough Love for the Idler magazine, where she wrote both the questions and answers. One memorable question: 'Dear Lydia, I'm making Thanksgiving dinner for friends, and I'm wondering if I could get salmonella if I ejaculated into the turkey.' She couldn't recall the answer but called the question 'delightful.'
On the topic of funerals, Lunch stated, 'There won't be a funeral. You'll never find my body. When I'm ready to take myself out, I'll be gone in a flash. I will not die in my sleep – that's an absolutely horrible way to go, if you ask me. I'll just evaporate somewhere, hidden away from all eyes, watching as my body goes back to wherever it once came from, which is the ether.'
Lydia Lunch is performing the songs of Suicide and Alan Vega in Melbourne on 17 and 18 June; Brisbane on 20 June; Sydney on 21 June; Adelaide on 24 June; and Perth on 25 June. She will also perform with Tex Perkins in Melbourne on 19 June; Brisbane on 20 June; and in Parramatta on 27 June.
