On The Daily Show, Josh Johnson delivered a biting monologue about Donald Trump's algae-ridden Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool, calling it 'the world's largest kombucha.' Johnson also took aim at Scottish soccer fans in Miami and Fox News host Sean Hannity's facial appearance.
Scottish Soccer Fans Invade Miami
Johnson opened by discussing Scottish soccer fans descending on south Florida as their national team prepared to face Brazil in the World Cup. 'This is so fun,' he said. 'Also, I'm just happy to see an all-white parade where they're not chanting about Jews.' He joked about bagpipes, adding, 'You know the Loch Ness Monster is back in Scotland right now like, 'Finally I can get some sleep. The only reason I'm so elusive is 'cause I don't want to hear those damn bagpipes.''
The Reflecting Pool: 'First Breakout Hit of the Summer'
Johnson turned to the Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool, which turned green with algae after Trump's failed refurbishment. 'Against all odds, the pool has now become more of a tourist destination,' Johnson said, calling it 'the first breakout hit of the summer.' He imagined a parent telling kids, 'Instead, we're going to go see the world's largest kombucha!'
'This is how far America has fallen,' Johnson deadpanned. 'The last time we collected this many people around the reflecting pool was for civil rights. People were like, 'We must come out to support Dr King.' Sixty years later, we're like, 'A slimy pool? This I gotta see!''
Trump's Blame Game
Trump claimed the algae was due to someone sneaking into the pool and 'hacking at' its floor. Johnson responded, 'Donnie, let me help you out: you have got to chill. People are not shanking the pool at night. Also, you've got one of the biggest algae eaters in your cabinet,' flashing an image of Robert F Kennedy Jr. Johnson noted that 17 police reports have been filed for vandalism of the reflecting pool, leading to six arrests. 'Dang, you treating the reflecting pool like Epstein drowned in it,' he laughed.
'You talked it up so much, you jinxed it,' Johnson added. 'The lesson here is Trump, you got to wait until after you do something to flex. If you had never made a big deal out of the pool, no one would have noticed.' He concluded, 'All of your supporters in the media, who should have been defending your Iran disaster or your economic disaster, now have to defend this disaster.'
Sean Hannity's Face
Johnson then addressed Fox News host Sean Hannity, who commented that the left 'are rooting for [Trump's] failure, and in this case they're even rooting for algae.' Johnson looked bewildered: 'I'm sorry, this is not the point, but what is going on with Sean Hannity's face? I have never seen white cheeks that big that haven't been rapped about. Is he auditioning for a new chipmunks movie where Alvin eats Simon and Theodore? Sean, you gotta address this. You can't just walk into a room and sit down in front of a camera with a BBL on your face.'
