Tim Dowling: My Wife's Bedtime is Now Dictated by Our Dog
Tim Dowling: Dog Dictates Wife's Bedtime Routine

Guardian columnist Tim Dowling has revealed a new and unexpected authority figure in his household: the family dog. According to his latest dispatch, the canine member of the family has begun to strictly enforce his wife's bedtime, demonstrating a surprising level of domestic oversight.

The Canine Timekeeper Takes Charge

Dowling details how, as evening falls, their dog adopts a specific and unyielding routine. The animal positions himself pointedly near his wife and begins to emit a series of persistent, low whines. This is not a request for a walk or food, but a clear directive. The dog's singular mission is to ensure that Dowling's wife goes upstairs to bed.

This behaviour has evolved into a fixed pattern. The dog's insistence begins at a particular time each night, showing an almost clockwork precision. If his signals are ignored, the whining intensifies, and he may resort to gentle but firm nudging. The message is impossible to misinterpret: the working day is over, and it is now time to retire.

A Household Dynamic Upended

The columnist observes this new dynamic with a mixture of amusement and bewilderment. The traditional roles within the home have been subtly rewritten by their four-legged companion. While Dowling himself might be reading or working, the dog has appointed himself as the guardian of his wife's rest and routine.

This development raises questions about who is truly managing the household schedule. The dog has assumed a managerial role, one that is both comical and strangely effective. Dowling notes that his wife, while perhaps initially resistant, often finds herself complying with the canine decree, led upstairs by a creature who will not take no for an answer.

Reflections on Pet and Human Relationships

In his signature witty style, Dowling uses this anecdote to explore the peculiar intricacies of life with pets. Dogs are often seen as followers of human routines, but this story flips that notion on its head. Here, the pet is the instigator, the enforcer of a rule it has seemingly created itself.

The piece, published on 20 December 2025 in The Guardian's Life and Style section, highlights how animals can develop their own understanding of family rhythms and then take active steps to maintain them. It is a testament to the deep, if sometimes baffling, connections that form between humans and their animal companions. The dog is not just a pet; he is a participant, a stakeholder, and now, the unofficial keeper of bedtime.

Ultimately, Dowling's tale is a light-hearted reminder that domestic life is rarely a perfectly human-controlled affair. Sometimes, the smallest member of the family, with the loudest whine, can be the one who calls the shots, proving that the heart of a home often beats with a four-legged rhythm.