Rachael Stirling, the only daughter of late actress Dame Diana Rigg, has revealed that she eats a small amount of her mother's ashes before the opening night of every new play. The 49-year-old actress, who is a two-time Olivier Award nominee, shares this personal ritual in her new memoir, All About My Mother, which explores her intensely close relationship with Dame Diana.
A Unique Tribute Before Performances
In the book, as quoted by the Daily Mail, Stirling writes: 'I would love to have a nightly glass of champagne before going on stage, but these days it would equate to a drinking problem.' Instead, she opts for 'a grain or two of my mother's ashes' on opening nights. She adds, 'Although it shocks people when I tell them, it feels absolutely natural to me.'
Dame Diana, who died in 2020 at age 82 from lung cancer, had her own pre-show ritual. While filming ITV's Victoria as the Duchess of Buccleuch, she had a contract clause requiring a daily bottle of chilled Prosecco at the end of shooting. Show creator Daisy Goodwin noted at the time that Dame Diana 'drinks just one glass and shares the rest with the make-up team'.
A Bond Forged in Care and Childhood
Stirling, known for roles in Tipping the Velvet, The Bletchley Circle, and guest appearances in Lewis and Doctor Who (the latter alongside her mother), served as Dame Diana's primary carer in the final two months of her life. She described their relationship as 'co-dependent' even before that period.
Dame Diana initially withheld her cancer diagnosis from Stirling in March 2020, while she was performing in Love Love Love at the Lyric Theatre, Hammersmith. When her health declined and she was hospitalised, Stirling had to fight to find her, as her name got 'lost on the system' during Covid. Stirling told the Telegraph: 'I found her eventually. I basically had to break into the hospital. She was in a room on her own. She couldn't get out of bed.' She added that 'nobody had helped her' with basic tasks like opening things to eat, leading Stirling to take her mother home.
Reflections on a 'Co-Dependent' Relationship
In the memoir, which serves as a love letter to Dame Diana, Stirling recalls weeping when dropped off at boarding school as a child, and being inseparable from her mother during school holidays. She writes: 'I suppose we became what you could call co-dependent, though I didn't know the word for it then.'
Stirling also acknowledges that Dame Diana could be critical of her work, sometimes treating her more like a 'personal assistant' than a 'co-star' when they worked together, as reported by the Guardian. Despite this, Stirling embraces her mother's legacy, declaring: 'I am cloaked in her, shielded and shrouded by her. I am her. My mother is my superpower. She always was.'
