Comedian Jack Rooke, creator of the Bafta-winning Channel 4 series Big Boys, has credited his grandmother Sicely with launching his career. Their collaborative show Good Grief, which explored their shared experience of losing Rooke's father, Laurie, to cancer, was first performed at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe in 2015. Now Rooke is taking an updated version on a UK tour, starting at the Roundhouse in London on 14 August.
Childhood and Nan's influence
Born in Watford in 1993, Rooke studied journalism at the University of Westminster before starting standup in 2014. He recalls spending much of his childhood with his grandmother, Sicely, an ex-dinner lady who picked him up from school twice a week. 'She was a real prankster,' Rooke says. 'Her name was Sicely. "Nicely but with an S," she'd say.'
Rooke describes his grandmother as emotionally available and conscious of mental health, contrasting with the stereotype of a stiff upper lip. 'Nan understood creativity as catharsis,' he notes. They shared curly hair and a refusal to learn to drive, which Rooke jokingly calls a 'joint rebellion' against a family of mechanics and black-cab drivers.
The origins of Good Grief
When Rooke's father died, he was 15 and his grandmother was 80. 'We were experiencing this huge loss and both missed him in different ways,' he says. 'Our common ground was that nobody was talking to us about it.' The idea for Good Grief emerged from their shared isolation. At 21, in his third year at university, Rooke asked Sicely to participate in a documentary about grief. 'She was elated and so encouraging,' he recalls. 'I was the first person in my family to go to university, and she was chuffed to help.'
On Father's Day 2014, Rooke and his university friends filmed conversations at Sicely's council estate in Harefield, west London. Initially reluctant, she eventually opened up. 'Often the most powerful stuff was when my nan was saying nothing,' Rooke says. 'She would stare into space reflecting for a few moments and then say something like: "At least we've got a fucking holiday booked."'
Edinburgh success and legacy
In 2015, Rooke took the show to Edinburgh, performing in the smallest room at 4pm. Within a week, the first three reviews were all five stars. 'Nothing will ever beat that buzz,' he says. 'Winning a Bafta was nice, but the summer when I realised people liked my show – when the New York Times were coming to see it – that was all that me and Nan could have hoped for.'
Sicely died suddenly before seeing Rooke on television, before Big Boys aired. Rooke notes that the grief was less traumatic than for his father because he had 'a wealth of film, audio clips and photos' from their collaboration. 'When someone dies, they vanish overnight and it is so painful. Whereas with Nan, I can see and hear her whenever I want.'
Grief and humour
Rooke, an ambassador for the suicide prevention charity Calm, says experiencing grief early has made him the family's designated funeral speech writer. 'I think funerals need a rebrand,' he says. 'People should not be defined by their death, but celebrated for who they were in life. I'd much rather hear about the holiday in Magaluf where they got rat-arsed than platitudes about how they will be missed.'
Reflecting on his grandmother's sense of humour, Rooke recalls a prank where she left a plate in the fridge with a lid and a note saying 'Homemade apple pie for you.' Under the lid were carrot sticks and a Post-it that read 'lose some weight' with a smiley face. 'Nan had quite a laddie sense of humour,' he says.
Rooke never discussed his sexuality with Sicely, but says 'being gay feels quite low down on the list of things about my identity that I am most preoccupied about. Grieving, or class or size, are far more prevalent subjects in my mind.'
'I owe my nan my career,' Rooke concludes. 'Good Grief was the first time I made something, the first time I could be creative professionally. And that all comes down to Nan – that she was always so emotionally available and encouraging to me. For that I feel very lucky.'
