The Functional Drink Boom: Do They Actually Taste Good?
In an era where wellness has become a daily pursuit, functional drinks have exploded onto the market. From adaptogenic sodas and CBD-infused beers to kefir shots and collagen-boosting smoothies, these beverages promise more than just refreshment—they offer small, stackable upgrades to our lives. But do they deliver on flavor? To find out, I embarked on a tasting journey of over 50 functional drinks, rating each for taste and texture.
The Rise of Functional Beverages
The surge in functional drink popularity aligns with broader health trends, including reduced alcohol consumption and heightened awareness of what we put into our bodies. Recent data underscores this shift: a survey by Ocado reveals that sales of functional drinks have skyrocketed by 54% year-on-year, with nearly two-thirds of Gen Z consuming them multiple times per month. These drinks are no longer mere thirst-quenchers; they position themselves as holistic tweaks in a world of dramatic health interventions.
However, skepticism abounds. Ingredients like ashwagandha and lion's mane sound more like mystical potions than everyday additives, and the science behind their claims remains nascent. Dietician Reema Patel notes, "The research is still in its infancy. You can take a lot of these claims with a pinch of salt, but they are definitely giving people an alternative option"—often to alcohol. Whether motivated by burnout, sobriety, or a quest for better well-being, consumers are turning to these beverages, hoping for benefits without the buzz.
The Taste Test: Highlights and Lowlights
With over 50 drinks sampled, here are the standout winners and those that fell flat. Each was scored out of five for flavor and texture.
Top 10 Functional Drinks to Buy
- Smiling Wolf Aperitivo Spritz 0.5% (£24.50, Amazon): Contains gentian root, rhubarb, and cinchona bark for relaxation. Tasting Note: Indistinguishable from a real Aperol Spritz—delicious. Score: 5/5
- Three Spirit Livener (£24.50, Master of Malt): Formulated with guayusa, schisandra, and panax ginseng for clean energy. Tasting Note: Sweet purple fruit with a chili kick and woody notes. Score: 4.5/5
- Collider Session IPA (£19.26 for 12, Whole Foods): Non-alcoholic lager with lion's mane and ashwagandha for relaxation. Tasting Note: Soft, lightly hoppy, and pure. Score: 4.5/5
- On Beer Elevated AF (£22 for 6, on-beer.com): Isotonic, alcohol-free beer with electrolytes for hydration. Tasting Note: Authentic, hoppy, tropical with a crisp finish. Score: 4/5
- M&S Cold-Pressed Hot Shot (£2): Concentrated ginger juice, lemon, and cayenne pepper to boost metabolism and immunity. Tasting Note: Instant ginger heat tempered by orange. Score: 4/5
- Free AF Spiced Rum and Ginger (£2.50, Morrisons): Features "Afterglow™" extract to mimic alcohol's sensation. Tasting Note: Fiery ginger with creamy, raisin-like rum notes. Score: 4/5
- Sainsbury's Plain / Strawberry Kefir (£1.20): Infused with CBD and Vitamin D for well-being. Tasting Note: Good purity, authentic citrus, slight earthiness from CBD. Score: 4/5
- Nu Wave Pale Ale (£19.50 for 6, Amazon): Contains lion's mane, ashwagandha, and maca root for a mild social buzz. Tasting Note: Well-seasoned, fresh green apple flavor, balanced bitterness. Score: 4/5
- Plenish Turmeric Recovery (£6 for 7 shots, Sainsbury's): Provides 100% daily vitamin B12 to reduce tiredness. Tasting Note: Turmeric-forward with citrus character and ginger heat. Score: 4/5
10 Functional Drinks to Avoid
- Trip Lemon and Basil (£3, Happy Days Drinks): Infused with 15mg CBD for stress relief. Tasting Note: Weak lemonade with minimal basil. Score: 3/5
- Remedy Wild Berry (£5.50 for 4, Sainsbury's): Naturally fermented for gut health. Tasting Note: Artificial berry taste, like a boiled sweet. Score: 3/5
- M&S Sea Moss Cold Pressed (£2, Ocado): High in iodine and vitamins for immunity. Tasting Note: Coconut water and ginger with a viscous texture and sea moss crunch. Score: 3/5
- M&S 10g Protein Shot (£2, Ocado): Provides 10g of protein. Tasting Note: Bitter, bland chocolate flavor. Score: 2/5
- Grass & Co Focus Lion's Mane Gummies (£9, grassandco.uk): Contains lion's mane, ginseng, Omega-3, and B vitamins for brain health. Tasting Note: Herbal, earthy, with a berry aftertaste. Score: 2/5
- Trip Elderflower Mint (£12.15 for 12, Amazon): Infused with 15mg CBD for stress-free mood. Tasting Note: Overpowering mint, no elderflower, reminiscent of toothpaste. Score: 2/5
- Trip Peach Ginger (£1.99, Drink Supermarket): Infused with 15mg CBD for calm. Tasting Note: Ginger dominates, no peach detected. Score: 2/5
- Remedy Kombucha Mango Passion (£2.95, Ocado): Full of gut-friendly bacteria. Tasting Note: Artificial mango, cloying, dry profile. Score: 2/5
- M&S Nutrient Dense H5O (£2, Ocado): Bursting with fiber, sea moss, botanicals, and electrolytes. Tasting Note: Highly botanical, verging on potpourri-like, pungent. Score: 1/5
- Smiling Wolf Mojito (£24.50 for 8, Amazon): Contains gentian root, rhubarb, and cinchona bark for relaxation. Tasting Note: Chemical-like mint clashes with fake rum and raisin notes. Score: 1/5
Notable Effects and Final Verdict
While flavor was the primary focus, one drink stood out for its physical impact: Collider Session IPA. It induced a calm, almost floaty sensation seconds after the first sip, making it a top pick for both taste and effect. Overall, the functional drink market offers a mixed bag—some excel in flavor and may provide subtle benefits, while others miss the mark entirely. As the science evolves, these beverages continue to carve out a niche as accessible wellness tools, but for now, taste remains a key differentiator.
