German director Isabelle Stever and Ukrainian screenwriter Anna Melikova have crafted a film that confronts the most urgent issues of our time: war, identity, and the choices we make under pressure. I Rarely Wake Up Dreaming, which premiered at the Locarno film festival, is a bold and challenging work that blends frontline realism with a sharp exploration of gender and culture.
A Couple's Escape Plan Meets Reality
When Russia launches its full-scale invasion, young Ukrainian couple Olya (Tania Myronyshena) and Oleh (Markus Bright) are thrown into crisis. Recently engaged, they flee westward in the cramped car of Olya's elderly parents, with Olya bristling at her father's sexist remarks about female drivers. Their destination is Olya's sister's home, where her husband has joined the military, leaving his wife alone with a baby and furious.
Oleh's plan is simple: get to Germany and safety. But there's a complication. Ukrainian law prohibits men aged 18 to 60 from leaving the country. And Oleh is a trans man, though he hasn't disclosed this to Olya's family. His solution is humiliating: at the border, he will deny his identity and claim to be a woman, even producing a psychiatric certificate that originally supported his transition but now implies the opposite—that he's not truly a man.
Border Guards' Contempt and Culture Clash
The film delivers its most powerful scene at the border crossing. Female Ukrainian guards mock Oleh's desperation with withering disdain. "You wanted to be a man so much?" they sneer. "So stay here and be a man." When Oleh begins to unbutton his trousers, they add, "We don't care what's in your pants." It's a brutal confrontation that lays bare the collision between personal identity and national duty.
The culture war extends beyond the frontier. At a local market, a Russian-speaking woman faces hostile silence, and when someone shouts at her to speak Ukrainian, a brawl erupts, leaving Oleh with a black eye. Language, culture, and identity become explosive forces, showing how the war amplifies existing tensions.
Family Dynamics Under Fire
Olya's mother remains fatalistic, accepting her own marital problems, while Olya's sister spirals into rage and breakdown over her husband's enlistment. The film contrasts these family struggles with Olya and Oleh's belief that their love and truth are paramount. They thought their identity journey was the ultimate challenge—until war reveals deeper truths about Olya's feelings toward Oleh's transition.
Stever and Melikova avoid easy answers, instead presenting a nuanced portrait of a relationship tested by external forces. The cinematography captures the chaos and intimacy of their flight, and the performances are uniformly strong, particularly Myronyshena's portrayal of Olya's evolving perspective.
A Unique Contribution to War Cinema
I Rarely Wake Up Dreaming stands out in the crowded field of war films by focusing on a queer couple's experience, a perspective rarely seen in mainstream cinema. It challenges viewers to consider how identity and ideology intersect with survival. The film's title hints at the dreamlike quality of their pre-war life, now shattered.
While the premise might sound satirical, it's grounded in real desperation. The film doesn't flinch from showing the compromises people make under duress, nor does it romanticize the couple's choices. Instead, it offers a compelling, thought-provoking narrative that lingers long after the credits roll.
