Testing the Bizarre Lego Crocs: A Day in London's Most Uncomfortable Shoes
Lego and Crocs have teamed up to create a footwear collaboration that defies conventional style: oversized, brick-shaped shoes priced at £199. Are these novelty items as absurd as they appear? We dispatched our most foot-friendly writer to London for a rigorous day-long test to uncover the truth behind the hype.
Morning: Unboxing and Initial Impressions
At 10 a.m., the package arrived, revealing the Lego Crocs in all their glory. Hidden beneath a desk during a Zoom call, with pajama bottoms as the only other attire, these shoes provided unexpected warmth, outperforming typical slippers in thermal efficiency. Despite their comical appearance, they earned reluctant praise for sheer practicality in keeping feet cozy.
Afternoon: Navigating London's Transport and Leisure
By 1 p.m., the challenge intensified. Navigating London's bustling streets with feet encased in what felt like portable Jenga towers proved arduous. A bus ride required precarious stair-climbing, and tube escalators became a test of balance. The writer mused on etiquette, joking about avoiding damage to public seating with these brick-like soles.
At 2 p.m., a bowling session at Bloomsbury Lanes offered a real-world trial. With rubber soles deemed acceptable post-Covid, the Crocs acted as anchors, leading to a fluky split but followed by gutter balls. A fellow bowler's compliment, "Nice shoes, mate," was met with clomping embarrassment.
Late Afternoon: Park Strolls and Fitness Tests
By 3 p.m., a saunter through the park drew little attention, though the photographer found humor in frequent bench breaks due to discomfort. The writer defended the struggle, highlighting the shoes' impracticality for walking.
At 4 p.m., a spin class at Anytime Fitness Euston revealed mixed results. The instructor was baffled by the £200 price tag. Pedaling proved possible, with extra weight aiding down-pedals but causing suffering on up-pedals. The writer whimsically imagined a Tour de France attempt in these clunky shoes.
Evening: Nightclub Rejections and Final Reflections
From 9 p.m. to 10 p.m., the ultimate test awaited: gaining entry to a posh Mayfair nightclub. Despite attempts, bouncers uniformly rejected the Lego Crocs, citing rules against trainers and sportswear, with one even calling them a health hazard and hideous. The shoes seemed to repel entry, leading to a humorous "brick off" dismissal.
Returning home to comfortable Adidas, the writer concluded that Lego Crocs are less footwear and more a performance art piece, celebrating novelty over sense. While feet survived the ordeal, ego took a hit. In a world where fashion often prioritizes passion over practicality, this test reaffirmed a preference for staying fashionably ignorant.
