Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce have set a date for their wedding, confirming what is essentially a royal wedding for fans worldwide. However, not everyone is thrilled. After invitations for the July 3 ceremony were sent out, one recipient expressed discontent over not being given a plus-one, calling it unfair and even threatening to skip the event entirely.
The anonymous guest told the Daily Mail: 'What am I supposed to do? Go alone? That is so awkward. I don't think I am going to attend because I don't want to go by myself and I am not sure I will know too many people there. I mean, sorry, I am not friends with Gigi and Bella Hadid!'
This sentiment is not limited to A-listers. According to The Knot, 40% of couples are now reducing guest numbers due to budget constraints, with the average cost per head currently at £272. Chloe Lansdowne, senior marketing manager at Hitched.co.uk, notes: 'Ten or fifteen years ago, not offering plus ones would have been seen as a big no-no, but we're seeing couples break traditions with all parts of their wedding, and the guestlist is also seeing the impact.'
With a net worth exceeding $2 billion, money is presumably not a factor for the wealthiest female musician on earth. But for most couples, cost is a natural consideration. Alison Hargreaves, founder and CEO of Guides For Brides, says cost is among the main reasons for a plus-one freeze, telling Metro: 'Even for just the basic catering, food and wine with the meal, for a lot of weddings you're looking at at least £100 per additional guest — more if there's an open bar.' However, she believes the 'big driving factor' is intimacy, with couples wanting to 'feel comfortable' among those who mean the most to them.
Michelle Jacobs, a UK-based destination wedding planner, adds: '+1s are often strangers to the couple. While it might seem polite to extend the invitation to your guests' significant others, it means couples might end up hosting people they have never met and have no relationship with.'
Despite understandable motives, the no-plus-one rule remains controversial. On a recent Reddit post about 'the no +1 plague,' commenters called it 'common courtesy' to ensure no one has to attend alone, with one writing: 'Travelling alone to a wedding sounds depressing.' Another added: 'There are plenty of ways to save money when wedding planning that aren't incredibly rude to your guests.'
Michelle, who has planned numerous celebrations as Elegante by Michelle J, notes: 'The sad truth is that I'm aware of many situations where there have been arguments over this issue and years later I hear that guests who were denied a +1 are still not speaking to the hosts. This of course is most unfortunate and will always cast a shadow over the celebrations if guest list issues have led to arguments.'
Alison compares it to child-free weddings, warning that guests may decline, leave early, or 'feel they can't really let their hair down and enjoy it' without a partner. 'The old policy always used to be "no ring, no bring,"' she says. 'That seemed to work quite well, but what we're seeing at the moment is definitely an extension of that.'
When this issue arises, Michelle goes through both scenarios with the couple, examining the consequences for them and the attendees. Ultimately, she respects the couple's decision. But if they choose not to offer plus-ones, she recommends careful seating arrangements and 'ensuring that "single guests" will be "looked after" on the day as much as possible.'
Alison advises couples to communicate their policy early, ideally with save-the-dates, and to 'make sure it's clear right at that stage what the policy is and the reason behind it.' However, being too direct or strict can lead to tension. 'It does open up a can of worms,' she says. 'You can understand it from the couples' point of view, particularly when you look at the costs and the want to keep it intimate and supportive, but it's not going down well with guests.'
