Sex podcaster Dan Savage recently posted that handjobs are now the hottest sex trend of 2026, after a friend admitted he prefers them to blowjobs. The next day, a viral reel showed a man on a train stating the same, with the male interviewer '100% agreeing.' The male Reddit community echoed this sentiment, with one user writing: 'Handjob while kissing and touching her boobs is the best ever.' Another added: 'Recently after going down on my wife she asked what I wanted to do next... I said a handjob while kissing. She was so surprised but I loved it. It's very intimate.'
Why Manual Stimulation Is Gaining Popularity
Sexologist Jenn Mason penned a Substack post titled 'Why hand stuff is better than oral sex,' expressing her distaste for watching a partner's enthusiasm disappear under the sheets. 'Hand stuff, though? I'm convinced anyone could survive a scene-by-scene breakdown of Lord of the Rings, provided there's delicate but insistent touch and the occasional teasing plunge,' she says. She also criticizes the act's 'immature' reputation: 'It's treated like oral sex's pimply younger sibling: it gets a few half-hearted swooshes of lazy spell-casting under the jeans before the moment moves on.'
Sexologist Becky Crepsley-Fox tells Metro that handjobs offer unique intimacy: 'During a handjob you're on eye level. You're side by side, face to face. You can kiss, stroke his neck, and watch each other. That's an entirely different order of intimacy from being at opposite ends of the bed. It also can become a full-body experience – with one hand occupied the other is free for testicles, perineum, chest, wherever you both fancy – rather than a single focused act.' One Reddit user wrote: 'Handjob all day, it's better when they get to talk to you and get their face close to yours, more intimate. Blowjobs are sexy, but handjobs are romantic. One is for casuals and one's for those who are madly in love.'
Physical Advantages and Lower STI Risk
Becky notes that many men climax faster during oral, so manual stimulation allows for longer sessions. 'A hand can adjust pressure, speed, grip, rhythm and angle in ways a mouth simply can't. It can hold one pressure at the base and another at the tip. It can twist, or grip the entire shaft at once. And crucially, it can maintain a consistent rhythm right through orgasm, at the exact point a mouth is usually tiring,' she adds. Handjobs also carry a lower risk of STIs compared to blowjobs; while skin-to-skin infections like herpes and HPV can still transmit, the odds are far better. 'There's also no chance of an unfortunate encounter with someone's teeth,' Becky admits.
Cultural and Historical Context
Becky believes the handjob's resurgence is partly due to increased representation in mainstream porn and a broader cultural exhaustion. 'People are exhausted. Couples come to me describing sex as another item on the to-do list, and there's real appetite for intimacy that doesn't require a shower, forty minutes and a change of sheets. Handjobs are having a genuine renaissance for exactly this reason – it's low-stakes, face to face, and can be twenty minutes on a Tuesday rather than an event you have to schedule.' Historically, handjobs predate humans, with both oral and manual stimulation documented in bonobos and macaques. Egyptian erotic art from around 1150 BCE depicts handjobs, and in Rome, cultural shame around oral made hands the more appealing option. The last handjob renaissance was in the 1920s, when petting culture preserved 'virginity' while offering sexual pleasure.
Blowjobs Still Hold Their Ground
Despite the trend, a steadfast Reddit community insists blowjobs are superior, with many men complaining 'if I want a handjob I'll give myself one.' Becky explains: 'Most men will tell you quite cheerfully that nobody masturbates them better than they do, and oral is the one thing they can't do alone.' She also warns of death grip syndrome from always going hard and fast, which can cause loss of sensation. Oral side-steps this entirely and offers a unique vulnerability: 'A lot of men describe oral as the moment they feel most wanted,' she says.
