Sleeping Better with Your Partner: Expert Insights on Shared Bed Benefits
Many individuals find that they sleep more soundly when sharing a bed with their partner, a phenomenon that sleep experts attribute to psychological and physiological factors. Dr. Wendy Troxel, a sleep expert and clinical psychologist, emphasizes that this is not a sign of unhealthy attachment but rather a natural response to established routines.
The Science Behind Partnered Sleep
According to Dr. Hrayr Attarian, a neurology physician and director of Northwestern Medicine’s Sleep Health Centers, humans develop conditioned responses to stimuli associated with sleep. When a partner becomes part of a bedtime ritual, their presence acts as a powerful cue for safety and relaxation, making it easier to fall asleep. Dr. Joseph Dzierzewski, senior vice-president of research at the National Sleep Foundation, adds that shared activities like reading or putting away phones reinforce these cues, helping the body recognize it's time to rest.
Research supports these claims. A 2022 study found that romantic bed-sharing is linked to better sleep quality and mental health benefits, including reduced depression, anxiety, and stress. Dr. Troxel notes that cuddling can stimulate oxytocin, the "love hormone," which has anxiety-relieving properties and promotes calmness, further enhancing sleep.
Benefits of Sleeping Together
Sleeping with a partner offers numerous advantages beyond improved rest. It fosters emotional intimacy and reinforces relationship identity, providing a sense of connection that can be missed when sleeping alone. Dr. Dzierzewski explains that the absence of this closeness—such as accidental skin touch or routine—can make solo sleep challenging for some.
Despite trends like "sleep divorces," where couples sleep apart for better rest, about two-thirds of U.S. adults prefer sharing a bed with their partner, according to a YouGov survey. This preference highlights the deep-seated human need for companionship during sleep.
Developing Healthy Sleep Dynamics
Not all couples sleep well together due to factors like misaligned schedules, snoring, or differing work hours. Dr. Seema Khosla, medical director of the North Dakota Center for Sleep, stresses that communication is key to navigating these challenges. Couples should discuss their sleep needs openly, aiming for compromises that benefit both partners.
Flexibility is crucial. Dr. Dzierzewski suggests alternatives like separate blankets, adjusting room temperature, or taking temporary "bedtime breaks" rather than permanent separations. For parents, coordinating nighttime duties can help maintain sleep quality without sacrificing partnership.
Coping When Sleeping Apart
Life circumstances such as travel, long-distance relationships, or personal loss may require sleeping alone. Dr. Troxel advises against self-judgment in these situations, encouraging individuals to appreciate the safety derived from closeness. To ease the transition, experts recommend using proxies like a partner's T-shirt or a body pillow to mimic their presence.
Maintaining bedtime routines, such as watching a favorite show or reading, can also serve as strong sleep cues when alone. Ultimately, experts advocate for six to eight hours of sleep nightly and sustainable routines, whether with a partner or solo, to support overall health and relationship well-being.
