In 2019, comedian Eric Lampaert woke up unable to recognize his friends, his parents, or even his own name. After decades of anxiety, abandonment, and bullying, his mind may have been trying to shield him from his past. Now, seven years later, he is returning to the stage with a new show, Zero Minus One, at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, aiming to reunite himself with his identity.
A Sudden Loss of Memory
On 17 March 2019, Lampaert woke up in Los Angeles and marveled at his hands moving in front of him, as if he were in control of them for the first time. He soon realized he had lost his memory. A knock on the door from a neighbor revealed that he didn't recognize his housemates or the person at the door. His neighbor drove him to the hospital, where he was diagnosed with "confusion delirium" and symptoms of amnesia.
The amnesia was so complete that Lampaert didn't recognize his parents. "I get that you're this guy's mum," he told his mother, "but as far as I'm concerned, Eric died." He spent 18 months without memories, piecing together his life from a journal. "I'm not afraid of dying any more," he says. "I've already done it."
A Professional Rebirth
Lampaert's new show, Zero Minus One, set in a padded cell, is a two-hander between patient and doctor, both played by Lampaert. It explores his experience of amnesia and his journey to regain his identity. "I want to shed this story. I need it out of me," he says. The show is his professional rebirth: "I'm starting again. I want to show people that I am back."
Before the amnesia, Lampaert was an actor and standup comedian who had won a Royal Television Society award and supported Eddie Izzard. He appeared in Luc Besson's Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017). However, his career in Los Angeles did not take off as expected, and his marriage to content creator Jordan Dwayne broke down in 2018.
The Role of Hypnotherapy
Lampaert had long struggled with anxiety and depression. In 2016, he blogged about using cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) to manage suicidal thoughts. Later, he turned to hypnotherapy, which he says "felt like a lifeline." During sessions, he "learned the tools of going within" and began to feel happy for the first time. However, he believes the hypnotherapy may have triggered his amnesia. "The brain was like: 'Oh I'm done with this stress. Tsssshhhh. Reset,'" he says.
Three specific memories from his past "altered" him during hypnotherapy: being bullied at school for his French accent, his parents' separation when he was 15, and the vitriol he received after a TV commercial for Viva TV in 2009, which led to death threats and online abuse. "I never felt attractive," Lampaert says. "When I smile, I've got big old gums. I was, you know, a little gangly."
Psychosis and Recovery
After his amnesia, Lampaert experienced psychosis, intensified by the Covid-19 pandemic. He had written a script about a global disease outbreak before the pandemic, and he came to believe he was responsible for millions of deaths. "That changes a person. Because I thought I was to blame for millions of deaths," he says.
He sought various therapies, including Jungian therapy, an NHS course for PTSD, and antidepressants. He also landed a role as Crow in The Thing With Feathers alongside Benedict Cumberbatch in 2023, which allowed him to rent an apartment in Wembley. "That paycheck finally got me a place by myself. I paid it upfront," he says.
Life After Amnesia
Lampaert now lives with his father in Newmarket, Suffolk, for the first time since childhood. He says they talk more comfortably now, and he understands his father's own abandonment issues. "I told my dad I felt abandoned. He said: 'Well, yeah, you know, Nan left the house when I was seven.' And I didn't know that," Lampaert says.
Reflecting on his experience, Lampaert says: "Technically, life is much better, but I feel very alien." He finds solace in laughter. When he finally came back to himself, 18 months after the amnesia, he made himself laugh by whispering: "A death is sad. A dozen is a tragedy. But millions? Well, that's pretty impressive." He laughed so hard that tears streamed down his face. "And I held on to myself and I went: 'Oh, there you are.' What I am – the essence, maybe – is just laughter, good humour. When the pain becomes a joke, it's soothing."
Eric Lampaert: Zero Minus One is at Just The Tonic at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, 6-30 August. For tickets visit www.edfringe.com.
