Mel Hudson, nearly 60, had not had sex in 10 years and was content with that. But seeing Richard Ashcroft, former frontman of the Verve, on stage in August 2022 reignited her libido. Hudson describes the experience as a 'second puberty' that transformed her outlook on life.
Rediscovering Desire
Hudson had been living alone for the first time since moving into a new flat in 2020. She enjoyed the autonomy of single life but felt lonely after lockdowns. She had no libido, having gone through menopause without hormone replacement therapy (HRT). 'I was stuck in an endless self-questioning loop: why try to get your libido back when you’ve got no partner? Why try to get a partner when you’ve got no libido?' she said.
The Concert That Changed Everything
At the Crystal Palace Bowl in south London, Hudson attended a Richard Ashcroft concert with a friend. Despite not being a particular fan, she was moved by his performance of 1990s songs from before she became a mother. 'I found myself surging to the front, joining in with the singing, gazing up at Richard as if he were … an idol,' she recalled. The experience left her feeling elated.
A New Obsession
Over the following weeks, Hudson immersed herself in Ashcroft's music and videos. Her daughter would call from university and ask, 'What are you doing? Lying in bed watching Richard Ashcroft videos?' Hudson felt happy and sexy. 'I realised that in order to re-boot my sex life, I did have to jump-start my libido again, but not necessarily with medication. This was spiritual,' she said.
Second Puberty at 58
Hudson compared her infatuation to her teenage years, calling it a 'second puberty.' She began to feel fired up about having sex again after a decade. The revived libido led her to try dating apps. 'The thrill of renewed passion expands outwards. I learned that, as an older person, you discount desire at your peril,' she said.
Hudson's show, Richard Ashcroft Revived My Libido, runs at the Edinburgh Fringe from 5–30 August (excluding 18 August) at Gilded Balloon Teviot.
