A Guardian columnist's traditional French Christmas was upended by a shocking discovery in the local supermarket aisle, revealing a surprisingly 'depraved' side to the nation's famed culinary culture.
From Artisanal Elegance to Crisp Aisle Anarchy
Emma Beddington spent the festive period in France, immersed in a scene of classic tasteful Gallic charm. She observed twinkling lights, exquisite market produce, and towering platters of seafood. Witnessing orderly queues for artisanal Bûche de Noël, she even mused that her hometown of York could learn a lesson in festive decorum.
However, this elegant facade swiftly crumbled upon entering a French supermarket. The crisp aisle presented a stark contrast, showcasing what Beddington described as a 'sink of depravity'. The shelves were stacked with flavours unimaginable to many British snackers, including blue cheese, falafel, Flemish stew, and perhaps most controversially, salted butter.
A Global Crisis of Crisp Seasoning?
The columnist acknowledged that the UK is no stranger to questionable crisp flavours, especially during the festive season. She pointed to recent limited-edition offerings like gingerbread Doritos and Beef Wellington Walkers anticipated for 2025, and the infamous Marks & Spencer 'prosecco and winter berry' savoury snack.
Yet, she confessed to holding France, the land of the revered chef Auguste Escoffier, to a higher standard. The discovery of butter-flavoured crisps was particularly baffling, likening it to the deep-fried butter sticks found at American fairs. Beddington suggested comedian Tatty Macleod's praise for them might be the result of 'Breton brainwashing', given Macleod's upbringing in that region.
Where Does the Flavour Madness End?
Reflecting on the experience, Beddington was left wondering what outlandish flavour might be next for the French crisp industry. She speculated, with a note of caution, about potential future crimes against the potato, such as foie gras, profiterole, or even Gauloises cigarette-flavoured crisps.
The trip served as a humorous reminder that no nation is immune to the chaotic, often bewildering, innovations of the global snack food industry, no matter how refined its gastronomic reputation may be.
