A woman who decided to date like a man after being ghosted multiple times says she was called 'toxic' for mirroring the behavior she had experienced. Siena Hocking, a writer from Sydney now living in the UK, shared her story of turning the tables on a man who slow-ghosted her after their first date.
The Setup: A Promising Start
She met Sam on Hinge, attracted to his dry British humor. Their first date at a waterside pub went well, with natural chemistry and a night spent together. But afterward, his texts became slower and more stilted, a classic sign of ghosting.
The Reversal: Playing His Game
After five days of silence, Sam texted again, asking what she was up to. Instead of being polite, Hocking decided to mirror the disrespectful behavior she had endured from other men. She alternated between flirting, negging, and indifference, drawing him in only to push him away. 'What you're doing is just confusing because I genuinely don't know what you want,' he said. 'I felt smug, confusion was the point,' she wrote.
Eventually, she told him to move along, questioning why he thought she'd want to see him again given his flippant treatment. That's when he called her toxic. 'I'm simply meeting you at your level – and surprise surprise, you didn't like it,' she replied.
The Bigger Picture: Tired of Ghosting
Hocking says she's tired of ghosting and the double standards in dating. 'I'm tired of ghosting. My friends are tired of it, their friends are tired of it. Most of all, we're tired of just letting it wash over us without saying our piece.'
She recounted another experience earlier this year where she connected with a man over sarcastic humor and interests. After a few dates, she messaged to suggest meeting again but never heard back. With friends, she plotted to catfish him but didn't go through with it. However, she later sent a message calling him out: 'Thanks for ghosting me, that was really classy. P.S., change your height, dumbass.' He didn't reply.
Conclusion: Be Difficult
Hocking advises other women to speak up. 'Biting your tongue becomes jarring. I'm glad I called him out – it's therapeutic to state my case. So for any woman who needs to hear this today: Be difficult, be dramatic, be a bit of a bitch. Sometimes you need it.'
The article includes a poll asking readers whether societal double standards exist in dating norms, with options ranging from 'Yes, definitely' to 'I haven't thought about it.'
