Late-night host Jimmy Kimmel delivered a scathing critique of recent political developments, focusing on former Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi's controversial actions during House judiciary committee hearings and Donald Trump's personal life ahead of Valentine's Day. Kimmel's monologue blended sharp political commentary with his signature comedic style, highlighting what he described as a "delicate balance between stupid and evil" in Washington.
Bondi's "Karen-thon" and Congressional Spying Scandal
Kimmel devoted significant attention to Pam Bondi's nearly five-hour appearance before the House judiciary committee, which he dubbed a "Karen-thon." The comedian revealed that a photographer captured Bondi's notes showing she had been tracking the private search history of elected members of Congress without their knowledge, apparently intending to use this information against them during hearings.
"She even printed it out and put a title on top," Kimmel noted with incredulity. When House Speaker Mike Johnson suggested this might have been an oversight, Kimmel responded with trademark sarcasm: "You mean somebody forgot to not track and document everything elected members of Congress were privately looking up? That is a hell of an oversight."
Epstein Files Investigation Priorities Questioned
The late-night host pointed out the apparent misplacement of investigative priorities, noting that only four computers are available for 535 members of Congress to examine the three million pages of recently released documents related to Jeffrey Epstein. "Pam Bondi has spent more time investigating the people who are reading the Epstein files than the people who are in the Epstein files," Kimmel quipped, correcting himself to specify "Trump-Epstein files" given how frequently the former president appears in the documents.
Trump's Valentine's Day Loneliness and Fundraising Tactics
Shifting to personal matters, Kimmel discussed Donald Trump's potential Valentine's Day plans, suggesting the former president "might be feeling a bit lonely" this year. The comedian referenced a recent Trump fundraising email that begins with the question "Do you still love me?" before, as Kimmel put it, "like a lot of dirtbag boyfriends, it asks you for money."
Kimmel speculated that Donald and Melania Trump would be enjoying Valentine's Day dinner "separately, of course" and joked about Vice President JD Vance's domestic life, suggesting Vance enjoys when his wife makes him sleep on the couch because "that's his sexy time."
Political Prognostications and Environmental Concerns
Looking ahead to upcoming elections, Kimmel predicted that "unless he's able to cheat his way through the next election," Democrats would likely regain control of Congress in the midterms, potentially making Trump "a lame duck with greatly diminished influence."
The comedian also awarded Trump what he called the "greenhouse gas-hole of the year" title for what he described as a "great Maga victory" - an executive order allowing unrestricted environmental pollution. Kimmel referenced the House voting to eliminate Trump's Canada tariffs, joking that "Trump has really had it in for Canada ever since he heard about that gay hockey show."
Bizarre Anecdotes and Government Shutdown Concerns
In his characteristic style of blending serious issues with absurd humor, Kimmel mentioned Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s recent revelation about snorting cocaine off a toilet seat, quipping that "that's how he killed the brain worm."
The host concluded by addressing the looming possibility of a partial government shutdown that would pause funding for the Department of Homeland Security. Kimmel explained that Democrats want Immigration and Customs Enforcement to adopt "very basic requests" and "same guidelines that police have to follow" in their policies.
Throughout his monologue, Kimmel maintained his reputation for holding politicians accountable while entertaining his audience, demonstrating why he remains one of television's most influential political commentators despite his comedic framing.
