Stephen Colbert Returns with Scathing Monologue on Political Scandals and Bizarre News
With fellow late-night hosts Seth Meyers and Jimmy Kimmel off air for the Presidents' Day holiday, Stephen Colbert seized the spotlight on Monday night's episode of The Late Show. Fresh from a week-long break, Colbert delivered a sharp and humorous monologue that zeroed in on a major political scandal, a former president's extraterrestrial claims, and a controversial new healthy eating initiative.
Colbert Targets Kristi Noem's Alleged Workplace Drama and Personal Life
Colbert opened by dissecting a recent Wall Street Journal expose on Kristi Noem, the US homeland security secretary. He characterized the article as "the kind of piece that only gets published if everyone who works for you can't wait to tell a reporter just how awful you are." The report alleges that Noem is intensely jealous of border czar Tom Homan, meticulously tracking her media appearances to ensure she receives more television coverage than him.
Furthermore, the Journal claims Noem's relationship with Trump aide Corey Lewandowski extends beyond professional boundaries, suggesting a romantic involvement despite both being married with children. Colbert, with a trademark smirk, offered the pair some tongue-in-cheek advice: to avoid doggy style, "especially near the gravel pit." This was a pointed reference to Noem's 2024 admission that she cruelly killed her pet dog, Cricket, a story that continues to haunt her public image.
Barack Obama's Alien Comments Draw Colbert's Skepticism
The host then pivoted to former President Barack Obama's recent podcast appearance, where Obama asserted that aliens are real. Colbert noted that the very next day, Obama appeared to backtrack, clarifying in a statement that he "saw no evidence during my presidency that extraterrestrials have made contact with us. Really!" Colbert expressed mock disappointment, quipping, "What happened to hope, buddy? This is why everyone likes Michelle better." He added, somewhat wistfully, "I'd much rather have aliens take over than artificial intelligence."
Maha's Grok-Powered Chatbot Provides Unintentionally Risque Advice
Colbert's commentary then turned to the newly launched Maha website, realfood.gov, which features boxing legend Mike Tyson and a Grok-powered chatbot designed to offer healthy eating tips. However, Colbert highlighted that a reporter easily pranked the chatbot, which responded to a prompt asking for foods that can comfortably fit up the butt by suggesting a menu of zucchinis, bananas, and cucumbers. "This is not only completely dangerous," Colbert joked, "but it completely recontextualizes the entire VeggieTales series."
Colbert Criticizes CBS for Canceling Planned Interview
Later in the show, Colbert took his own network, CBS, to task for abruptly canceling a planned interview with Texas state representative James Talarico. Colbert revealed that CBS lawyers intervened at the last minute, pulling Talarico's appearance from the broadcast. In response, Colbert directed viewers to The Late Show's YouTube channel to watch the full 15-minute interview.
In that sit-down, Talarico discussed the growing "backlash" in Texas against political extremism and corruption. He proudly stated, "We have shattered grassroots fundraising records without taking a dime from corporate PACs," a declaration that drew enthusiastic applause from the studio audience.
Colbert's monologue masterfully blended political satire with pop culture critique, showcasing his unique ability to tackle serious issues with wit and incisive humor, all while navigating the absurdities of modern media and technology.
