After six months of unemployment following redundancy, a reader is re-entering the workforce. Initially aiming for a career change, that plan did not materialize. The time at home with kids—attending school activities, baking, exercising, reading, and managing household chores—was sometimes boring but ultimately made for a smoother, simpler life. Now, returning to work for financial stability feels lacklustre. The reader finds LinkedIn posts nauseating—'AI slop, bombastic words'—and questions if people truly care. They feel nothing toward the new role, accepting it only for the money, and worry about work colonizing home life, leading to after-school care for kids. The reader asks: 'How can I get some mojo back or feel at peace that this is just something I have to do? How do I move forward and be a good role model for my kids?'
Eleanor's advice: Rethink your relationship with work
Eleanor Gordon-Smith suggests that being a role model means having a purposeful, thoughtful, and open relationship with work. Some people find meaning in work, especially those with hard-won skills. Others take pride in not falling for the 'propaganda' that work must be meaningful. Both sides view the other as mistaken. Many people waver privately, especially after a career break or when faced with the reality of returning to work. It can be hard to rethink work when social circles share similar attitudes.
The inevitability of work
Most people must work, and children will likely need to exchange time for money. Being a good role model does not require forcing passion for a boring role. Instead, parents can demonstrate that the financial necessity of work leaves room for a range of relationships with work. Children can learn to think, talk, and read about which relationship they want.
Consider a purely instrumental approach
One option is to view work purely instrumentally: 'I'm doing this for the money.' Without expecting genuine stimulation, you can be conscientious at work and then go home. This can restore mojo by removing disappointment over unmet expectations. You save energy for parts of life that feel meaningful. Alternatively, question whether work must be meaningful at all. Your answer will clarify concrete steps at work and what you want your kids to consider when they face similar decisions.
