Sulvinder Samra, the ex-wife of Dr Ranj Singh, has opened up about their 'messy' and 'painful' divorce after the television personality came out as gay. Dr Ranj, 46, known for his appearances on This Morning and Lorraine, was married to Sulvinder for seven years before their separation in 2011. The former Strictly Come Dancing star revealed his sexuality to her in 2009 and has since been in a relationship with actor James Colebrook for over a year.
Reflecting on the Past
Marking what would have been her 20th wedding anniversary, Sulvinder shared her feelings about the end of their marriage. She recalled trying to 'embrace [her] new life' through travel, partying, and buying a home, but struggled with letting 'the past dictate [her] future'. She admitted to having trust issues with both others and herself due to her 'failed marriage', which prevented her from 'let[ting] anyone in'.
In an emotional Instagram post accompanied by a slideshow of photos, including from her wedding day, Sulvinder confessed that she believed she 'wouldn't be a good mum' and 'did not deserve happiness' after finding herself single again. 'On the outside, I was pretending,' she wrote. 'I looked fine but I felt dead inside because I'm not good enough.'
Healing and Growth
Feeling that the past was 'out of [her] control', she only began to feel better about herself three years ago, committing to 'facing [her] fears' and challenging her 'shame'. Sulvinder told her followers that 'you get to choose what your story is going to be… no one else', stating that she 'never wanted' her ex-husband's coming out to be her 'story'.
Delving further into past events, Sulvinder shared: 'I grew up being told that I must set a good example, get a good education, a good job, and an Indian husband. It was a strict upbringing and the responsibility felt heavy. I saw university as an escape route. After some rebellion, I graduated, got a job as a Pharmacist, met my future husband and started married life. Married life was not easy and then the cracks started to show. What I will say is there is not a lonelier feeling than feeling alone in a marriage.'
She added that 'both parties were hurting' when their marriage broke down, with divorce the 'only option'. 'I mourned. It was heavy because the future I thought I had was gone and the person that I thought I had married was gone as well.' Sulvinder went on to 'question everything', feeling 'extremely unattractive' and retreating back home where it 'felt safe'.
A Turning Point
Upon turning 45, she was confronted with daunting prospects for her future, asking herself: 'Is this what my life is going to be? I had no balance. It was all work. I was miserable. It was eating away at me.' From there, she quit her job, set up a business, and attempted to 'dissolve old beliefs'.
Dr Ranj's Perspective
Dr Ranj met Sulvinder after he qualified in 2003. They married in a traditional Sikh ceremony in 2006. Dr Ranj came out at age 30, previously declaring that he 'loved' his wife, making the separation all the more 'heartbreaking'. 'I was completely broken. It was the lowest point in my life,' he told The Mirror in 2018. He added: 'I can only imagine how hard it was for my wife, though – she didn't deserve any of that. I feel so incredibly sorry for what she had to go through.'
Dr Ranj, now open and proud about his sexuality, spoke about his marriage to Sulvinder again this week as he told the Big Issue that, despite ticking 'all [his] boxes' with a successful career and marriage, he was still not '100% happy'. Noting that something was 'not right', he went to therapy, which encouraged him to address his suppressed feelings, fracturing what he believed was a 'perfect life'.
Family Acceptance
Dr Ranj came out to his brothers in a 'beautiful moment' 10 years before he felt able to have the conversation with his parents, telling Metro in 2024 that he was 'scared' of their reactions. He added: 'I braced myself for the worst, but what followed was beyond my wildest dreams. “We love you, no matter what,” Dad said softly. My mum, though visibly shaken, nodded in agreement. “You are our son, and nothing will change that. Why didn't you tell us before? We could have been there for you”, she said.' Dr Ranj hailed his parents' 'unconditional acceptance' as 'everything [he] had ever needed'.
Last year, he went public with his romance with James, confirming their relationship on Instagram. The couple regularly posts pictures and videos together and often makes joint red carpet appearances.
