Ex-Partner's Persistent Stalking Spans Continents and Decades
A woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, has revealed the terrifying reality of being stalked by an ex-boyfriend from the other side of the world for more than five years. Her story underscores a disturbing increase in stalking cases reported to police, with many victims feeling isolated and underestimated.
Unwanted Christmas Gift Sparks Renewed Fear
In December 2020, while opening Christmas presents with her family, the woman discovered a card and gift from her ex-partner, Daniel*. This marked the first direct contact in over 12 years, despite her having been married to her husband, Paul*, for 19 years. The gift was a DVD of the Cats film, referencing a theatre production they attended together decades ago. The attached card falsely implied her marriage had ended, attempting to re-establish contact under the guise of sympathy.
"I noticed one from my ex, Daniel*. This is someone I haven’t seen for more than 25 years, but who is now also my stalker," she recounted. "And has been for over 5 years now."
A History of Unsettling Behavior
The stalking traces back to their teenage years when they dated briefly before Daniel moved to New Zealand for university. After he began a new relationship there, contact became intermittent. However, years later, after she became engaged to Paul, Daniel sent a series of hostile emails claiming she still wanted to be with him. When confronted, he denied sending them, leading to both blocking him.
With the advent of social media, Daniel resurfaced, liking photos of her infant son posted by mutual friends. This prompted another round of blocking, but the stalking escalated in 2020 with the Christmas gift. In 2021, on her 20th wedding anniversary, she received flowers from Daniel meant to "cheer her up" from being "stuck" with Paul.
The Psychological Toll of Stalking
The victim described how the stalking intensified her nightmares about the past relationship, often distressing enough to wake her husband at night. "I have no idea what triggered it, which is why the whole situation is so disconcerting," she said. The lack of motive or response from Daniel after she demanded he stop has left her in a state of uncertainty and fear.
"It’s hard to explain the impact of this sort of stalking, and why it is so upsetting – but it is," she emphasized. "If it happens to you, seek help."
Rising Awareness and Support Initiatives
Despite the personal ordeal, there is hope as stalking gains more public and governmental attention. In December 2025, the UK government launched a strategy to end Violence against Women and Girls, improving awareness and action. Campaigns like Metro's "This Is Not Right," launched in November 2024, aim to address violence against women through partnerships with organizations such as Women's Aid.
The victim urges others not to engage with stalkers, who often seek validation. "Ultimately, the stalker wants a reaction, a response and some validation. Don’t give it to them," she advised. Instead, she recommends reporting incidents to police or stalking support groups.
Key Takeaways for Victims
- Stalking is a serious societal issue that occurs more frequently than many realize.
- Victims should avoid engaging with stalkers and instead seek professional help.
- Increased reporting and educational initiatives on healthy relationships are crucial steps forward.
- Support is available through various organizations dedicated to assisting stalking victims.
*Names have been changed to protect identities.
