Natalie Russell can still recall the day she first entered prison. She was playing pool with a fellow inmate who casually described a murder case, as if discussing a trip to the supermarket. Sitting on a chic cream sofa in her living room during a Zoom call, it is hard to believe that this mother of two has been behind bars five times. A traumatic childhood, including sexual abuse at age five, set her on a destructive path that lasted over two decades.
A childhood marked by trauma
Natalie was just 12 when she turned to drugs to numb the pain of abuse. She struggled at school, ran away with an older man, and was declared missing for five days. After being raped by him, she had a termination. 'That was the first of many abusive situations,' she says. She never returned home. She moved into a bedsit with her sister in Slough, where she fell into an abusive relationship. 'His friends took over our flat, there was a lot of physical abuse and some sexual abuse,' she recalls. She dropped out of performing arts college at 16. When her partner's secret girlfriend discovered their relationship, she and her sister were chased by a group wielding knives. Natalie fled and became homeless, resorting to shoplifting to survive while her drug use escalated to crack and heroin.
In and out of prison
At 17, Natalie was remanded in Holloway Prison for fraud, common assault, and theft. 'I was terrified. I cried like a baby the first night,' she remembers. She spent three months inside but was released without support. Over the next five years, she was in and out of prison. Despite her mother's efforts to get her help, she went to five rehab centers. She was later diagnosed with ADHD, which impacted her ability to cope with trauma. At 21, after a suicide attempt, she woke up in a psychiatric hospital. 'I had two 10-minute sessions over a month, then they discharged me with no place to live.' Homeless again, she relapsed into drugs and accumulated more shoplifting offenses, leading to an 11-month sentence. After release, she returned to substances and nearly attempted suicide again.
The turning point
Natalie sought help from a drug support agency and called the Narcotics Anonymous helpline daily. She got sober and moved to Bournemouth with the help of the YMCA. Pregnant, she booked a termination but on the day of the procedure, she was offered a bed at the YMCA. 'I knew I could either stay where I was, or move to Bournemouth with a baby in my belly and two black binbags to rebuild my life.' She gave birth to her son Kaliel in 2002. 'Having him was my saving grace. I never went back to drugs.' She worked in addiction treatment centers and supported vulnerable young people. However, unhealthy relationships persisted due to low self-worth. After another abusive relationship, she rebuilt her life from scratch, found housing, and started working with domestic abuse survivors. She retrained as a relationship coach.
Healing and helping others
Natalie now attends somatic movement classes, dance sessions, and meditation. She is an ambassador for Refuge, a domestic abuse charity, and runs a women's collective. Last year, she appeared on the ITV dating show 'My Mum, Your Dad' to find love, which also strengthened her bond with her eldest son. She advocates for systemic change: 'The whole damn system needs to change. When I left prison, having support rather than being left alone could have prevented me from reoffending.'
